


Fade To Black

by JudeAraya



Series: Fade To Black [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Body Worship, Communication, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-11-02
Packaged: 2017-11-17 12:55:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 29,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudeAraya/pseuds/JudeAraya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for this prompt on the Kink Meme.When Kurt and Blaine first start being intimate with each other, the sex is good...but not great. Kurt, despite all of the progress he has made, is still embarrassed to talk about what he wants in bed. Blaine really loves to do well and gain approval, and he feels like he's not satisfying Kurt because he doesn't know what Kurt wants. So, the boys devise a plan to develop their communication skills. Follows Kurt and Blaine through cannon as they explore intimacy and love (The First Time through Yes/No)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Kurt will never forget the first time he and Blaine made love.  
  
 _Never._  
  
It wasn’t what he’d dreamt it would be. Which was really okay with him – it’s not like there were an abundance of lilac fields anywhere near Lima. And he’d never really figured out how he was going to have Sting playing in the background  _in_  the lilac field. That was just a dream.  
  
The moment –  _the reality_  – of being with Blaine was…amazing. In so many unexpected ways.

There were fingertips and declarations of love and a feeling of closeness; being closer to someone than he’d ever been before. And it had felt really, really good.  
  
But. It was also so, so awkward.  
  
In all his fantasies about his first time – even the more risqué ones -- Kurt had never really figured out how he would get from A to C. Or X. It always started the same – those same declarations of love they had expressed – and then things just sort of  _happened_. It varied, what he imagined happening. His hand on Blaine, watching his lips tremble and eyes close as he spilled into Kurt’s fingers. Or maybe they’d just lie, barely moving, skin to skin and deliciously close, eyes on one another, Blaine’s fingers tracing up over the line of his spine.  
  
Blaine was always beautifully naked in his dreams, all skin and muscle and so warm. And he himself was confident and comfortable and utterly Kurt Hummel.  
  
Somehow, though, Kurt had never really realized that he would be naked.  _Naked_. Responsible for wringing pleasure and intimacy from someone else, or receiving it.  
  
Kurt wanted a tender, romantic first time.  
  
Which by no means meant that he wasn’t often plagued by fantasies about what their future sex life would be like. He hoped that once they became comfortable with each other they’d both lose a bit of that natural timidity. There would be a period of time in which they’d find a rhythm and become used to the world of pleasure opened to them. Which would be followed by sexy, self-assured intimacy.  
  
Again, in his imagination, this all just  _happened_. Beyond speculation about their first time, there had been many fantasies about being unable to help himself from tearing into Blaine’s clothes, about Blaine taking him and taking him and taking. He wanted, badly, to be a part of something overwhelming and outside his self. To be a part of a moment without the fear and embarrassment and uncertainty.  
  
He had no real idea how to obtain any this, but he thought that maybe Blaine would. That once they’d crossed the final barrier into physical intimacy, Blaine would lead from there. He hoped that sometimes they’d get carried away. Clothes would get ripped off (without any damage sustained) and it would be basic and instinctive and good.  
  
No matter what his fantasies were, everything felt natural and right.  
  
Because he trusted Blaine, and he’d been sure that once he made the decision to go forward, everything else would fall into place. Kurt always thought that when the moment was right, everything that followed would be perfect. That’s how it worked when you were young and in love, right?  
  
The reality was somewhat different. For one thing, there was no fade to black moment in which they suddenly moved from the auditorium and into bed, carefully covered by sheets and beautifully naked.  
  
In the real version, once he’d asked to go home with Blaine, he’d given Kurt a wide-eyed look of wonder that had shorted the system of breath in Kurt’s chest.  
  
 _Wait, what now?_  He’d thought frantically.  
  
By the time his lungs had sorted themselves out (his heart was still pounding furiously in his chest though), Blaine was leading him by the hand into the parking lot. To their separate cars.  
  
Once they’d resolved the awkwardness of who would drive, there was the matter of the car ride to Blaine’s. It was strangely silent. Strangely, uncomfortably silent.  
  
Kurt knew he was ready. He wanted this, he’d dreamed of it, and god, he really loved Blaine. Loved him so it often filled him too much, leaving him delirious and tender skinned, unsure and so desperately weak it was like an ache he only knew how to soothe than with  _more_. More Blaine, more careful touches and exquisite moments spent kissing and breathing and holding on so tight. Soon though, that wasn’t enough. There was no one in his life he’d felt as close to or as understood by as Blaine.  
  
He just wanted to be that much closer.  
  
But the silent car ride was kind of torture. Kurt was excited but nervous, shaking with both, fidgeting helplessly: crossing and uncrossing his leg, tapping his fingers against the handle of the door and stealing covert glances at Blaine, whose own fingers were white gripped on the steering wheel. Every so often he’d catch Blaine biting his lip and looking back at him. Whenever their eyes met, they’d break the silence with uncertain giggles before looking away.  
  
“Kurt--“ Blaine cleared his throat, “You know I love you…and it’s okay if you change your mind.”  
  
“No!” Kurt reached out, touching Blaine softly along the sleeve of his striped shirt, “Why do you think- I mean…I want to do this.”  
  
“Okay.” Blaine took a deep breath. “You just seem really, um, quiet.”  
  
Kurt turned toward Blaine more fully, tilting his head as he studied his boyfriend. “Well, you’re being kind of quiet too. It’s…this is, um, new territory? I’m not really sure how to act or what to do.”  
  
Blaine unfurled his fingers from the wheel, reaching over to lace his fingers through Kurt’s. His hand was cold. “I don’t either but…I guess we’ll figure it out together. That’s kind of one of the best parts, isn’t it?”  
  
Kurt squeezed Blaine’s fingers. Outside his window, the lights shone from houses, spilling onto lawns and the road. His little  _hmmm_  of agreement was the last they spoke before pulling into the Anderson’s driveway.  
  
Everything was perfectly in place. Blaine’s parents weren’t home, his father was out of town, and they were ready. Kurt was suitably fabulous; he felt sexy and confident and most importantly, desperately in love.  
  
Blaine came around to open the car door for him, the perfect gentleman always. Kurt used the precious seconds Blaine took to walk around to straighten his hair and compose his face. There was a part of him (a rather large part) that was giddy with excitement and nerves.  _Oh my god_ , he was going to do this.  _The_ y were going to do this.  
  
It didn’t occur to Kurt until they were halfway up the darkened stairs, trembling hands locked together, that he didn’t really know what  _this_ was.  
  
Sure they’d talked about sex before – they’d had the whole ‘what counts and what doesn’t count’ conversation months ago – coming to the agreement that intentional mutual orgasms counted as sex. It had been important to them both, to emphasize that it needed to be their  _intention_  to get off. Blaine had almost come in his pants just the day before. He’d rather suddenly pushed Kurt away in the middle of a  _very_  hot kiss, gasping “Too close, too close,” leaving Kurt shuddering, running shaking hands over whatever part of Blaine was within reach, forcing his own body to cool off. Accidentally getting Blaine off in the middle of the day while furtively making out in his room with his father home was  _not_  the romantic first time Kurt wanted to remember.  
  
Kurt had been a little embarrassed, bringing up the conversation in the aftermath of that moment, but that was okay. This was  _Blaine_. There was no one he was more comfortable with in the world. Kurt wanted intimacy with him – and although almost everything they did together felt intimate and important -- it was really important to Kurt to have that  _first time_. A step they would choose to take together, deliberately. To take the time for romance and to make it special. To make it matter.  
  
After all, Kurt had a pretty good idea that once they started, it would be pretty hard to stop. God knew Kurt wanted to have sex all the time now and he wasn’t even having it yet.  
  
They’d talked it through, even if Kurt had stammered and blushed through the whole thing, trying so, so hard not to look like he was imagining what Blaine would look like when he came.  
  
Even though he really, really was.  
  
It turned out that even with a definition solidly in place, things tended to…happen. Hands grabbing hips desperately until their pelvises were pressed deliciously against one another, fingers twined through belt loops that pulled them flush against each other, and on a few occasions, each of them had been guilty of grabbing the other’s ass. Kurt wasn’t unfamiliar with Blaine’s…geography…so to speak. He’d felt Blaine against him, pressed and rubbing; hot and hard and that one time, throbbing against him. It was mind blowingly frustrating and wonderful, wonderful torture.  
  
Several close calls after they had solidified their definition of sex, Kurt started to think that maybe without the grabbing and the pulling, it might be easier to keep themselves from the precipice so dangerously close. Kurt was pretty sure that if one of them came, the other would too, just from how  _hot_  it would be. And he really,  _really_  didn’t want their first time to be an accident.  
  
So Kurt had tentatively asked if they could keep their hands north of the equator, so to speak, until they’d decided they were ready for more.  
  
And tonight was the night. Somewhere on the horizon of this evening lay the promise of deliberate mutual orgasms. They’d agreed on what counted as sex. The implication that there would be nudity was understood by both. They’d just never hammered out the details of what exactly would happen once they were naked and issuing visas.  
  
Kurt had always assumed it would just happen, and that like with everything else, they’d talk each other through it.  
  
But when Blaine pulled him into the cool dark of his bedroom, closing the door behind him, Kurt wasn’t sure he’d be able to say anything at all.  
  
“Do you...” Blaine ran a hand over his hair – it was a nervous gesture that Kurt knew well. “Do you want something to drink, or – I probably should have asked you before just bringing you up here, I’m sorry--“  
  
“Blaine.” Kurt cut off Blaine’s nervous rambling, voice soft and a little high. He pressed his fingers against the grain of the door behind his back. This felt weird. This whole moment; the space between them and the uncertainty. This would be a whole lot easier if they were already making out. Only everything felt so  _important_  about this moment, Kurt didn’t really know if that was the right way to start. Or what would be. God, why wasn’t there some sort of manual on this?  
  
Kurt took a deep breath, telling himself to calm down. He firmed his shoulders against the door, then reached a hand out. They could do this, so long as they were together. Blaine took it with a grateful smile, letting Kurt pull him closer. They both sighed once he settled in, arms around Kurt’s waist and head tucked into the curve of Kurt’s neck. He could feel Blaine breathing against him, fingers digging into the small of his back through his vest.  
  
Close was good, Kurt decided. It felt good to be close to Blaine, to be held by him. Only they were still fully dressed and so far from the bed and Kurt had no idea how on earth how they were supposed to get from here to there with all the added pressure of the moment.  
  
Blaine pulled away to look up at him; the way his eyes rounded when he looked at Kurt slid right through him. He’d never known anyone could look so sincerely in love as Blaine did. It made him feel so treasured, so uniquely special. When Blaine’s fingers came up to trace his cheekbone, Kurt couldn’t help but lean into them.  
  
“What do you want?” Blaine’s voice was hushed, smooth like warm honey. Kurt wanted to say so much:  _I want you to sing to me until I’m boneless, undress me slowly and touch every part of me, kiss my lips until they hurt and make me forget how awkwardly strange this moment is._  
  
Instead, he just shook his head, leaning forward and pressing his lips to Blaine’s very, very softly.  
  
Blaine leaned into the kiss; the room around them was quiet, and when Kurt opened his lips just a little, he could hear the sounds of their kisses, wet and slow, fill the room. Something hot and tingling cascaded through his limbs, making him feel over-warm, sensitive lips buzzing against Blaine’s.  
  
The only points of contact between them were their lips and hands; Kurt’s gripping Blaine’s shoulders, and Blaine’s strong hands gripping Kurt’s waist. Kurt had always loved that; feeling how strong Blaine was.  
  
Slowly, as they relaxed into languid kisses that spun and spun from their lips, Blaine’s body swayed forward until he’d pinned Kurt to the door with his hips. His chest rose and fell against Kurt’s, and from this position, Kurt had to lean down a little; his cock started to show interest, his breath coming faster and shorter. Slowly, he let his fingers come up to cup the nape of Blaine’s neck, thumbing over Blaine’s pulse point.  
  
Blaine pulled his mouth a way a little, using the tip of his tongue to trace Kurt’s lips and to slide his own softly over Kurt’s, breathing uneven against Kurt’s open mouth. Kurt’s whine was low and soft; his tongue reached out, barely meeting Blaine’s before he lurched forward a bit to take Blaine’s full, wet lip between his teeth. Blaine tightened his grip at Kurt’s waist, fingers trying to work their way under the hem of Kurt’s shirt.  
  
Kurt could feel the moment when Blaine started to laugh a bit. When Blaine broke the kiss, his lips were smiling, his eyes bright and amused. Kurt sighed.  
  
“The layers?”  
  
“The layers.” Blaine paused, biting his reddened lip. “Kurt- can I…” he trailed his fingers delicately over the buttons of Kurt’s vest. Kurt looked down, where Blaine’s fingertip was circling the first button. He had to catch his breath and close his eyes before nodding – they’d been shirtless together before, but that was different. This was the first layer that was one step closer to being completely exposed and vulnerable with Blaine.  
  
Kurt ran shaking palms down Blaine’s beautiful shoulders, never taking his eyes off Blaine’s fingers. He cupped Blaine’s elbows before tracing over the knob of his wrist, then barely touching the skin at the back of Blaine’s hand just over the final button. He moved them away, slackening them to let the vest fall to the floor. Blaine traced the waistband of Kurt’s jeans, using enough pressure that Kurt could feel his heart beat twice, hard and thumping in his chest.  _Please don’t stop_  he thought.  
  
But the words were tangled on his tongue.  
  
Kurt was silent as Blaine worked his belt open, undoing the snap to his jeans. The only noise he made was the quick inhale of a startled breath. Blaine left his jeans opened after he pulled the zipper down. Kurt had to close his eyes when Blaine’s fingers brushed so close to him; he felt almost delirious with desire and love and nerves. His whole body tensed up; he couldn’t help it. Blaine paused to dart a look up at Kurt; he nodded to signal that he was okay, closing his eyes. Blaine’s touch felt so  _good_ ; Kurt didn’t want to stop him, just wished there was some way to do this without feeling so unsure and self conscious.  
  
He kept his eyes closed as Blaine mouthed his way up Kurt’s neck, biting just a little when he got to Kurt’s jaw. When Blaine’s fingers slipped under his now loosened shirt, skirting over his sides, fingers fanning across the span of his ribs, Kurt realized that he might want to start getting Blaine’s clothes off too.  
  
He opened his eyes just as Blaine pulled back, fingers digging into his skin just a little.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Blaine’s voice was low and husky, “I’m really nervous.”  
  
“ _God_ ,” Kurt said with feeling. “Me too.”  
  
They shared a smile, Blaine’s face suffused with sweetness. Kurt trailed his fingers delicately down the curve of Blaine’s neck before skirting down the front of his shirt. His eyes felt heavy and his skin was humming when he gripped the hem of Blaine’s shirt and started to inch it up. Blaine stepped away from Kurt, pulling them closer to the bed, shrugging out of his shirt.  
  
The room was dimlit by the single lamp on Blaine’s nightstand, and in the muted light, Blaine’s skin shone, shades darker than his own. Kurt’s hands looked out of place, too pale and long fingered where they lingered over the defined ridges at Blaine’s hipbones. When Blaine leaned in to kiss him again, Kurt could feel his heart beating so hard.  
  
Then Blaine started slipping Kurt’s shirt off and he could feel the second it went from delicious and sweet to awkward. Kurt felt like he was having a sort of out of body experience, seeing himself with his shirt off and jeans slipping down just a little and Blaine looking at him dazed and almost worshipful.  
  
Blaine was going to take his pants off. And then somehow Kurt was supposed to take Blaine’s off and he wanted to ask if they could get under the covers maybe because he was still dressed but he had never felt so naked in his life.  
  
And then his fingers started shaking because  _oh god_  once they got under the covers they were going to have sex and Kurt had  _no_  idea what he was doing or what he even wanted to do. For the first time in his life, Kurt really wished he’d watched a little more porn.  
  
What if he was terrible at this?  
  
There was a strange pause; Blaine looked for a minute like he had no idea what to do now and they just sort of stared at each other until Kurt bit his lip and darted a look away. Then Blaine tugged him onto the bed and for a second it was a tangle of knees and Kurt bumped his nose against Blaine’s head and  _oh my god_  this seemed so much easier in romantic movies, no one got injured or tangled.  
  
A part of him kind of wanted to pull back and ask Blaine if they could talk about this, but Blaine was kissing him again, hands cupping Kurt’s cheeks. So Kurt kissed back, more hesitantly than he’d ever kissed Blaine before; even more than their first kiss which had caught him so by surprise that he’d just kissed back on instinct.  
  
“Are you okay?” Blaine pulled back, eyes searching and bright.  _Time to talk_ , Kurt thought, but he had no idea what to say, so he just nodded and took a deep breath, keeping his eyes on Blaine’s. “Kurt, I love you.” Blaine’s voice was a little hoarse and his whole face so earnest.  
  
Kurt felt something unwind and relax; his smile was genuine when he leaned forward to rest his nose and forehead against Blaine’s.  
  
“I love you too.” Kurt turned a little, watching Blaine’s fingers trace down his arm and tangle with his. Blaine kissed each of Kurt’s knuckles while scooting closer and slipping his knee between Kurt’s thighs. The pressure of his leg against him felt good. It felt right, and Kurt found himself rocking against it without thinking about it.  
  
“What do you want?” Blaine whispered, releasing Kurt’s fingers and sliding his hand just under the waistband of Kurt’s pants to grip his hipbone. Kurt’s breath stuttered a little when Blaine pulled him closer, feeling Blaine hard through the layers of their pants, against his leg.  
  
 _This_  Kurt thought. He wanted to peel Blaine’s clothes off and feel him against his skin, rocking gentle and slow against one another until they tipped over into release and pleasure.  
  
“What do  _you_  want?” he asked instead of answering, cupping the back of Blaine’s head as they rocked against each other slowly. Blaine pushed against the waist of Kurt’s jeans a little, fingers brushing tentatively against the swell of his ass.  
  
“Can- can I take these off?” Blaine was  _blushing_ , which almost never happened, and Kurt nodded a little, feeling his heart like a wild thing in his chest.  
  
 _Oh god what if he doesn’t like what he sees?_  
  
“Can I--“ Kurt let his fingers linger at the top of Blaine’s pants. There was a part of him that was  _dying_  to see all of Blaine; it was the part that pushed him past his nerves and uncertainty. When Blaine nodded they both started to undress one another, which seemed sweet. Until Kurt’s pants got stuck at the tops of his thighs and his underwear got tangled over his erection.  
  
“Oh, crap. Sorry.” Blaine muttered.  
  
If it was possible, Kurt managed to blush even harder than he was, trying to help Blaine’s fumbling hands with a hip wiggle that was meant to lift his hip off the bed, but only managed to push his still clothed cock against Blaine’s hand.  
  
Which still managed to feel amazing, but also deeply mortifying. This was  _not_ how he’d envisioned the first touch of Blaine’s hand -- well any of this -- going.  
  
“No, um...it’s--” Kurt heaved out a breath. He’d never felt so foolish and turned on at the same time, which was a combination of feelings he’d never even considered possible. He felt more than saw Blaine laugh a little before his hands stilled. Kurt closed his eyes and cleared his throat.  
  
 _Did I do something wrong?_  
  
Blaine started tracing his fingers over the smooth convex of Kurt's lower belly, tilting in to lay his lips gently over his chest, right where his heart was.  
  
“Sorry, can I start over?” Blaine’s smiling voice was warm over Kurt’s skin. His fingers and lips and closeness were eliciting shivers and unleashing what felt like a torrent of affection. It was just so  _Blaine_ , funny and awkward but unselfconscious.  
  
Kurt hesitated. He really wanted to get Blaine’s pants off first. Partly because he really wanted to get Blaine naked already, and partly because he wanted to distract from the debacle that unclothing himself had turned into.  
  
Which was probably something he should have foreseen, considering his sartorial choices. Why hadn’t he planned for this sort of contingency?  
  
Then Blaine’s fingers were sliding haltingly down the line of his spine, to where his pants were stuck just under his ass. Kurt swallowed, clutching the sweet give of Blaine’s shoulders, shifting a little as Blaine carefully worked his pants farther down. He didn’t seem to want to separate from Kurt enough to actually work them all the way off. Instead he managed an awkward maneuver, hooking his toes in the waist and pulling and pushing them down. Kurt wanted to laugh; a giggle was just in the back of his throat. And then he realized he was naked.  
  
 _Naked._  
  
~*~  
  
Blaine almost missed the sudden whoosh of Kurt’s sucked in gasp; almost missed it because his own breath had suddenly rushed out of his lungs.  
  
“Kurt,” Blaine winced at how wrecked he sounded. “Kurt are you okay?” He tore his eyes from Kurt’s body (Kurt’s magnificent, otherworldy, amazingly devastating and fucking awesomely naked body), trying to read Kurt’s face.  
  
Kurt was biting his lip; his eyes were hooded and he was looking  _anywhere_  but at Blaine. Blaine tried to squeeze Kurt’s hip encouragingly, and god his skin was so soft and bare and it was  _really_ hard not to just run his hands all over it.  
  
“Kurt, oh my god, you’re perfect. So, so beautiful,” Blaine rushed, feeling nervous and like he had to fill the silence Kurt’s voice usually saturated. Kurt’s body moved infinitesimally under his grip. Not for the first time since he’d met Kurt (although probably more desperately), Blaine wished he had mind reading abilities.  
  
“Does...that mean keep going or please stop?”  
  
“Keep going?” Kurt opened his eyes, the grey blue darkened by his widening pupils. “Can I- I feel really naked right now.”  
  
Blaine laughed. “Kurt you are naked.”  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes and hummed when Blaine’s fingers found their way over the swell of his ass, so carefully.  
  
“I mean I feel a little exposed.”  
  
Tipping forward, Blaine brushed his lips over Kurt’s, “Yeah, okay.” His tongue was slipping into Kurt’s mouth while Kurt’s cold fingers pushed his pants down carefully. Blaine let his body lean into Kurt’s, one hand cupping the winged edge of Kurt’s shoulder blade.  
  
“Oh god,  _Blaine_.” Kurt had pulled away when he’d gotten Blaine’s pants down to his knees, trailing fingers up the length of Blaine’s thigh as Blaine kicked his pants off. Kurt’s fingers hesitated at the crease of his thigh.  
  
“You can touch me.” Blaine shuddered. “I want you to.”  
  
Then he couldn’t talk anymore because Kurt’s smooth fingers had traced their way through his pubic hair and up along the length of his cock. It was instinct that had him rocking his hips forward, seeking more touch. He could feel Kurt’s ribs where he was gripping his side tightly, his whimpered breath of pleasure muffled by Kurt’s forehead. When he swayed into Kurt’s touch again, the head of his cock slipped against Kurt’s hip.  
  
“Oh,” Kurt gasped.  
  
“Mmm.” Blaine tried to slip his own hand between their bodies, but there didn’t seem to be enough room for both of their hands and their cocks when they were pressed so close together. He tried to shift away a little to make more room, but that only made Kurt pull his hand away to grip his hip and pull him closer.  
  
“Is this what you want?” Blaine wound his leg back between Kurt’s knees; their bodies were flush against each other, Kurt’s erection hot and long against his stomach. Kurt whimpered, then opened his eyes, tilting his chin to look into Blaine’s.  
  
Blaine could feel the way Kurt’s body trembled against his own, pleasure roiling through his body and into Blaine’s where it cascaded and flooded his fingers and arms and toes and made him throb so hard he had to bite his lip to keep from slipping over the edge.  
  
“Blaine.” Kurt’s voice was awed, quiet and broken. There were so many things Blaine wanted to do, wanted to make Kurt feel. It was hard to tell what Kurt wanted; he was so quiet, focused and nervous. It felt incredible, being so close to Kurt. Seeing him more stripped and open than he’d ever seen before.  
  
Their bodies were moving on instinct now; Blaine’s hand clasping the small of Kurt’s back and Kurt’s hand pulling him closer at the nape of his neck.  
  
“Wait, Kurt, can I--” Blaine pulled back a little, rolling over to grab some lube from his nightstand. The air against his skin where he’d been pressed so close to Kurt felt cool, Kurt’s hand slipping off of his hip like a loosened tether.  
  
He rolled back over, lube in hand, to find Kurt smiling tentatively, one arm crossed against his chest. Blaine had to lift and scootch a little to align their bodies the way they had been. Kurt let his hand spread against Blaine’s chest, skirting over a sensitive nipple and then his shoulder.  
  
“Hey.” Kurt sounded a bit muted, Blaine tilted his head up to kiss gently at the crease between his eyebrows.  
  
“Hey yourself.” Blaine smiled into Kurt’s smile; he tried to run his hand down Kurt’s side before he remembered that he was still awkwardly holding the lube.  
  
“I’m going to -- is this alright?” Blaine wiggled it a little; Kurt’s eyes flicked toward it and widened a tiny bit before nodding.  
  
~*~  
  
There were a few things Kurt knew right then. First: in spite of the awkward fumbling and nerve wracking nudity, he’d never felt so loved, so close to anyone, so beautifully desired as he did in Blaine’s arms. Second, that Blaine’s shaking fingers were giving his nervousness away, which was both endearing and comforting. Blaine had always been so good at acting confident. In showing the world a convincing poker face. But with Kurt, he didn’t have to do that. It made Kurt feel incredibly trusted. And a bit better about his own out of control nerves.  
  
The thing he knew most urgently, though, was that if Blaine put that lube on them, he was 90% sure he’d come on the spot, or within seconds because  _holy mother of god_  did this feel amazing as it was.  
  
Not only did it feel amazing, but the way Blaine’s skin was hot and stretched taut over the defined muscles of his abs just  _looked_ incredible. Kurt had never been as visual as other people- he’d generally rather daydream about romance or intimacy than watch porn, for example. But when he took the opportunity to look down at the way their bodies were moving so naturally together, it took his breath away. And his words.  
  
Blaine’s praise had done wonders for his own self-consciousness, and Kurt really wanted to return the favor; to praise and worship and appreciate every curve and dip and line of Blaine’s body. But it was so hard to say  _anything_. It wasn’t even that the words were stuck; somehow everything about this moment felt hushed -- he couldn’t bring himself to break the spell.  
  
Blaine kissed his neck reverently and Kurt thought  _oh god, right there_ , but didn’t speak. Instead he tilted his head just a little, hoping that Blaine would read what his body was communicating for him.  
  
When Blaine’s hand found his cock again, slippery and warm, Kurt wanted to cry out,  _yes, yes, yes_ , only he couldn’t. His lip was tender bitten from his own teeth and his fingers dug bruises into Blaine’s that they wouldn’t find until the next morning.  
  
Kurt’s whole body startled, shuddering and clenching in pleasure when Blaine managed to channel their cocks so that they were sliding against each other. It was so good, so much better than when he’d gotten off alone. All the heat in his body seemed to be drawing into his pelvis and Kurt knew, he  _knew_  he was going to come any minute. He opened his eyes to find Blaine’s; every part of him crying out with a sort of shattering love, and he wanted to tell Blaine. Wanted to whisper that he loved Blaine, that he needed him and that he’d never felt so good. To tell him to hold on just a little tighter; that it was okay to use him a little because it wasn’t using when there was so much love, that it was only closeness.  
  
He couldn’t though.  
  
Kurt let Blaine wash over him instead. The way Blaine’s voice broke, wonderstruck, when Kurt convulsed against him. The loud and unembarrassed groan that followed from Blaine when he fell over the edge just a moment after Kurt. He opened his eyes just in time to catch a glimpse of them together, the way their come spread and slipped as they rocked with increasing slowness gently against one another, chests heaving in near unison.  
  
 _That’s so hot_ , he thought.  
  
 _I love you so much it hurts_ , followed.  
  
 _Stay here with me forever_ , resonated deep like a bell in his chest.  
  
“Blaine.” He whispered. His body felt like something new, cracking through a chrysalis, changed and beautiful and amazing. There was so much to say, so many words he could use. Instead, he rested his forehead against Blaine’s, letting his pulse slow and feeling his heart, which had already felt so full, somehow expand with love.  
  
There were long minutes shared in the afterglow. They didn’t speak at all, just breathed and trembled, holding one another as close as possible. There were parts of Kurt’s body tingling that he never thought  _could_  tingle.  
  
But as his breath and heart and blood slowed, his brain began to wake up.  
  
When he shivered from a chill, the movement drew his attention to a couple of things; it was colder in Blaine’s bedroom when he didn’t have 5 layers on, and the drying come all over his stomach felt gross. Really, really gross. He wasn’t sure what the protocol for this sort of thing was -- was there a time requirement for how long one must linger in a post-coital haze before dealing with their...stuff?  
  
Of course, his minute body movement must have drawn Blaine’s attention to the problem because suddenly he rolled away ( _holy shit it’s so cold in here_ ) and came back with a wad of tissues. Which he began to clean Kurt with, and Kurt could just have died from the mortification.  
  
Somehow, Blaine’s come and his come and them both coming all over each other had seemed really hot in the heat of the moment. Now it just felt unseemly. And embarrassing.  
  
Kurt knew that his face was still flushed, but somehow in the seconds it took Blaine to perfunctorily wipe his stomach (complete with a giddy “Whoops!” when some of the come dripped onto the bedspread), Kurt’s face managed to reach defcon-5 levels of red.  
  
“Hold on a sec.” Blaine dropped a quick kiss on Kurt’s cheek before climbing out of bed.  
  
 _Where is he_ \- Kurt started to think.  _Oh god, he’s walking away. Naked. Naked walking away._  With that -- _oh god look at his ass, oh I could just bite it and-_  
  
Kurt cut off his increasingly incoherent train of thought, realizing that Blaine was naked which meant that  _he was still naked_. Any second now Blaine would come waltzing back in from the bathroom, where he was doing god knows what, and Kurt would just  _be there_ , lounging naked on his bed.  
  
If he’d been working on any ounce of intelligence or rational thought, Kurt might have spent the next thirty seconds reflecting on the nature of intimacy, on trusting Blaine with every aspect of his body, heart and soul. With learning to be comfortable with his nudity because Blaine obviously was and Kurt was definitely appreciating that confidence.  
  
Only there weren’t that many parts of his brain that were functioning at all, other than the part still zapping with fissions of leftover pleasure and the part that operated his instinct to be well covered (or even remotely covered, jeez a loincloth would do better than this. But not leopard print or anything gauche like that, please. Maybe some tasteful rhinestones though?).  
  
 _Great_ , Kurt grimaced as he wiggled back into his jeans with as much speed as possible. It was nice to know that at the very least, his ability to fashion the perfect loincloth was intact.  
  
When Blaine strolled back into the room ( _How is he so comfortable?_ ) with a washcloth in hand, Kurt felt a little like the kid who’d been caught with his pants down. Or in this case, almost up.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Kurt started. Maybe he should have felt more at ease with being naked considering he’d  _just_  been intimate with Blaine. But honestly, nudity was new to them and Kurt knew it would take a little bit for it to feel natural. “I just--”  
  
“Kurt,” Blaine smiled, stepping forward a bit to run the damp cloth over his exposed belly. Kurt shivered as the cooler air hit his moistened skin, “it’s okay. I get it.” Blaine’s eyes on his were steady, colored deep and so familiar that Kurt felt himself growing warmer and looser in their gaze.  
  
Kurt took a deep breath before pulling Blaine’s hand toward him, unfurling each of Blaine’s fingers until he released the cloth. Carefully, and trying not to look anywhere but Blaine’s stomach, Kurt wiped what remained off of Blaine.  
  
Somehow, that moment felt just as fragile and intimate as every other one they’d shared that night.  
  
~*~  
  
“Want to cuddle?” Blaine asked hopefully. A glance at his alarm clock had assured him that they still had plenty of time before he had to drive Kurt back to his car. Kurt’s head bobbed slightly. His eyes were hooded, and although Blaine could still feel Kurt’s fingertips lingering on his stomach, there was something a little far away and drawn in about his energy.  
  
“Let me just--” Blaine gestured towards his pants, heaped at the foot of the bed. Considering how quickly Kurt had gotten his own pants back on, Blaine guessed he wasn’t all that comfortable with lounging around nude.  
  
He wasn’t sure it was all that comfortable himself. For one, it was cold, which was really not that flattering. Kurt didn’t know his anatomy well enough yet, and there was still a strong desire to impress. Also, it would be kind of weird to be the only naked one in the room. Kurt was wearing jeans -- Blaine wasn’t sure that would be conducive to cuddling. It seemed to leave a lot of room for potential chafing. Blaine wanted to be as close to Kurt as he could right now.  
  
Kurt wasted no time in turning to pull his white undershirt on while Blaine searched out his own tank top. By the time he’d pulled on his pants, Kurt was already leaning on the bed putting socks on for god’s sake.  
  
There was getting dressed, and then there was  _getting dressed_. Blaine had the alarming certainty that if he didn’t intervene, Kurt would be back in his longsleeves and vest.  
  
“Kurt -- Kurt, honey.” Kurt glanced up at him in shock. Heat rose in his own cheeks -- they’d never used endearments like that with one another.  
  
But Kurt was smiling...which was good, right? Blaine thought it might be good.  
  
“Can we cuddle now?” His voice sounded a little plaintive even to him, but Blaine didn’t care. He just wanted Kurt in his arms. He couldn’t imagine how he was going to say goodbye at the end of the night, to commit himself to being apart from the one person on earth who knew him in this one intimate way that no one else did. That he sincerely hoped no one else ever would.  
  
Kurt scooted back a little, hesitating until Blaine climbed up next to him, stretching out until he was lying on his back. He made impatient grabby hands, and with a giggle, Kurt turned to drape himself over Blaine.  
  
Blaine’s sigh was long and heartfelt. It felt good to have Kurt on top of him, heavy and warm. Kurt’s chin was propped on one folded arm. As an added bonus, once their bodies came into contact, Kurt seemed to relax.  
  
The room around them was silent and Kurt’s eyes unfathomably deep. It wasn’t that Kurt’s silence before had been bad, or uncomfortable, per se’. But Blaine was definitely more at ease with this sort of silence. There was no pressure to guess what Kurt wanted, what he was doing right and what Kurt was thinking. Somehow, this moment felt to Blaine as though it should be beyond words.  
  
Right now, all that he wanted was to concentrate on how perfect everything was, how all the little details of this moment added up to that perfection. The way the slide of Kurt’s thumb over his collarbone set up an ache in his chest; it felt both innocent and painfully intimate. Blaine let himself get lost, treasuring the way he could time his breaths with Kurt’s.  
  
When he laughed, it was sudden and unexpected. Blaine couldn’t help it -- he was just so  _happy_. Wrapping his arms around Kurt, Blaine rolled them over until he was propped up on an arm, smiling down at Kurt.  
  
They never broke eye contact, not even a little.  
  
“I have to drive you back now don’t I?” Blaine rubbed his nose gently against Kurt’s. Curled facing each other, they’d been sharing small touches and tender silence for what felt like the shortest half hour of his life.  
  
Kurt’s skin, warm and smooth under his fingers, felt like invitation and promise. Blaine pushed the sleeve of Kurt’s shirt up, skirting his fingers over the tempting swell of his bicep and shoulder. He could feel the minute tremor run through Kurt at the touch, and suddenly wanted, badly, to push the rest of Kurt’s clothes out of the way, to touch and touch and touch until Kurt was gasping and lost and so utterly  _his_.  
  
“Yeah.” Kurt’s voice was soft with sadness even when he leaned into Blaine’s fingers. There wasn’t really time for anything to happen anyway, but that didn’t stop him -- and apparently Kurt -- from wanting.  
  
He was reasonably sure that Kurt did want -- his tight gripped fingers digging into Blaine’s side as he sighed against Blaine’s mouth were giving him away.  
  
“I don’t want to, I just want to be here with you,” Blaine knew the kiss was a little desperate, but he  _felt_  desperate. He felt a little like they’d opened Pandora’s Box together, only everything stored inside was something incredible, something completing. Kurt’s whimper, lost in the tangle of their lips and breath, made Blaine surge forward, pushing him onto his back so that he could plaster his body over Kurt’s, pushing and pressing them together.  
  
Kurt turned his head, moaning when Blaine’s hips rolled against him, when Blaine trailed his mouth against his neck.  
  
“We can’t.” He was gasping but still meeting the movement of Blaine’s hips like waves against the shore, coming and going but not stopping.  
  
“Oh god, I know,” Blaine breathed against Kurt’s neck, not ceasing his movements. Kurt was hard against him, fingers like vices around his biceps.  
  
“If- if you don’t stop, I’m--” Kurt cut himself off, pulling away a little but Blaine clung to him.  
  
“Me too, me too.”  
  
Then Kurt’s fingers were on his cheeks, directing their lips together; it was hard and sloppy and they were both intermittently groaning while their bodies ground together.  
  
“Blaine--” Kurt pulled away only to bite his lip and turned away.  
  
Blaine wanted to have the presence of mind to ask what Kurt was trying to say, but they were both lost, riding the wave of need and desperation in their bodies.  
  
“Your pants,” Blaine struggled to lift himself up enough to undo Kurt’s belt and button, hastily pushing them down with Kurt’s underwear until they were just out of the way. He had to drop his head into the crook of Kurt’s neck when he felt Kurt’s impatient fingers pulling his own pants down; Blaine had the presence of mind to ruck Kurt’s shirt up quickly.  
  
“Oh,  _oh_ , Blaine.” Kurt whispered, pushing Blaine to the side to wrap a shaky hand around the length of him. Blaine adjusted rapidly, taking Kurt in hand as well. When Kurt came suddenly, it was the most beautiful and sexy thing Blaine had ever seen; the way his back arched, his eyelids trembling as they shut. The beautiful bow of his pinked lower lip, crying out while he fucked himself into the channel of Blaine’s hand.  
  
His own orgasm took him suddenly, swamping and surprising him even as all he could focus on was the feeling of Kurt’s dick pulsing so hard, sticky hot come sliding between his fingers and making the most frankly sexual sound he’d ever heard as he pumped Kurt through it.  
  
“Holy shit.” Blaine was gasping, coming down slowly; Kurt was breathing hard, fingers sliding gently off of his dick.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt seemed to be trying to catch his breath, “you never swear.”  
  
“Yeah well,” Blaine tipped forward to kiss him. “Holy. Shit.”  
  
“Yes.” Kurt was peppering kisses all over Blaine’s face, “Yes. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Blaine turned into the kisses, and Kurt’s hand came up to cup his cheek.  
  
“Oh,  _shit_.” Kurt squeaked, realizing too late that his hand was covered in Blaine’s come.  
  
Kurt looked so distressed, Blaine felt a little bad, but he couldn’t stop the giggles. Kurt frowned, lifting his head to look around them, presumably for something to wipe it on. He held his hand gingerly in the air, and Blaine only laughed harder when some of the come dripped off onto his cheek.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt hissed. His face was bright red. “ _Oh my god_ , this is not funny.”  
  
Blaine sat a little, pulling his shirt off. Carefully he wiped Kurt’s hand and then his cheek.  
  
“It really kind of is.” Blaine was still laughing a little. Kurt’s eyes were turned away, “Kurt, it’s really okay.” He cleaned off his own hand and then Kurt’s stomach. “Stuff like this happens. And I’m not embarrassed.” He emphasized the last with a grin and an eyebrow wiggle.  
  
He watched Kurt’s shoulders as he adjusted himself, pulling his pants up.  
  
“I am.” he whispered, still not meeting Blaine’s eyes.  
  
“Kurt.” It sounded like a plea and a gentle admonition. Blaine kissed the tip of Kurt’s nose, his cheekbone, the crest of his ear. Kurt’s hands laced carefully behind his neck. His eyes fluttered opened and Blaine could see his own face reflected in them. There were no words, just the feeling of Kurt’s body relaxing by tiny increments. Finally, he smiled.  
  
“I need to take you home now don’t I?” Blaine asked for the second time that night.  
  
Kurt tilted his head, eyes still on Blaine’s.  
  
“How was I so lucky to get you?”  
  
Blaine smiled, Kurt’s words rushing through him. “I think I’m the lucky one.”  
  
Kurt shook his head a little, leaning up for a gentle kiss. “Maybe we both are.”

 


	2. Chapter Two

It turned out Blaine was right about that Pandora’s Box thing. Yeah it was a really crappy metaphor, but he was too busy having sex to think of something better.  
  
Because he was having a  _lot_  of sex.  
  
Blaine loved sex. For the obvious reasons -- it felt really good for one. But honestly, the best part of intimacy with Kurt was the  _intimacy_. He loved feeling stripped, both physically and emotionally. Couldn’t get enough of feeling close to Kurt in ways that he’d never had with anyone else. There was something about discovering Kurt’s body and letting Kurt unfold and map his own that was so much better than he thought it could be.  
  
Plus, there was getting Kurt off. Blaine didn’t think he’d ever get enough of that. Kurt coming was delectable and Blaine was pretty sure he was addicted. It wasn’t surprising, but  _still_.  
  
When Kurt came, his back would arch, neck exposed and long, hands clenching hard at anything near: Blaine’s arm or the sheets or his hips. There was this soft sort of cry he made that started low in his throat and built through his orgasm until he was moaning and his muscles were fluttering, dick pulsing, come warm and slick against Blaine’s hand or stomach.  
  
Currently, Blaine had Kurt in bed with him and he could not wait for the moment when he would get to watch that all over again. They were both trembling and near naked and Blaine wanted very much to try and give Kurt a blow job- -- just the thought of it made him so hard his head swam a little. He really wanted to find a way to ask, but the words felt so awkward and strange, even in his head ( _Let me blow you? Can I go down on you?_  No. Just, no.)  
  
This would be so much easier if Kurt would just ask. Blaine would give Kurt anything he asked for.  _Anything_.  
  
“Kurt.” Blaine stopped the motion of his lips, which had been lingering at the slow rise of Kurt’s hip bone. “Tell me what you want.”  
  
Kurt’s eyes were closed, head tipped back, fingers stroking carefully over Blaine’s hair. It was so hard to know what Kurt wanted. Times like this, when they had time to unfold each others secrets, Kurt was always so silent, contained until the moment just before Blaine’s unwound him completely.  
  
“Yeah, um, “ Kurt whispered, “what you’re...that’s good.”  
  
He knew that Kurt was enjoying what he was doing -- Blaine had been running his fingers along the tender inside of Kurt’s long thigh, slipping them higher and higher under the edge of Kurt’s boxer-briefs. The fine tremors that were coursing through Kurt were a delicious indication that yes, he was doing this right. But it wasn’t enough. Blaine wanted to hear, to know which touches worked best and which would turn Kurt into a puddle in his hands, moaning and shivering and thoroughly fucked.  
  
Blaine really loved having sex with Kurt, but it felt like there was still something missing. Something that would take it from something good and right into mind blowing and earth shattering.  
  
“Kurt, honey, please tell me what you want.” Blaine didn’t even care that he was begging.  
  
“You.” Kurt’s voice trembled. Blaine’s index finger moved slowly along the crease of Kurt’s thigh, uncertain and tentative. Carefully, Blaine brushed his cheek over Kurt’s cock, hating the barrier of Kurt’s underwear. He couldn’t stop himself from kissing and mouthing along it.  
  
They’ve never done anything like this, even though it was a common staple in Blaine’s fantasies.  
  
“That’s, oh,  _oh-_ ” Kurt’s voice trailed off and Blaine groaned, letting his fingers slip all the way under the cotton to stroke along Kurt’s length. Under his mouth, Kurt’s cock surged against him and Kurt moved minutely, sucking in a quiet breath. God Blaine wanted to hear him moan.  
  
Sometimes, when it was fast and unexpected, Kurt did. Moaned and whispered when Blaine pressed him up against the wall next to his cracked open door; ears half cocked for the sounds of Finn or Sam or Burt. Mostly dressed and frenzied and it didn’t matter what words they used because their bodies were speaking the complete language of desire and abandon.  
  
Blaine loved those moments. They thrilled him, the clandestine and desperate way they fucked each other when they weren’t able to help themselves.  
  
The thing was, there was this strange sort of dichotomy in their sex life that Blaine didn't always understand.  
  
Kurt liked to plan, to know ahead of time when and where they were going to be intimate. It was a little crazy how much Kurt marking a calendar could turn Blaine on. But even with Kurt’s careful planning, they seemed to have a lot of impromptu, heat of the moment sex.  
  
Blaine definitely wasn’t complaining. It was just -- sometimes it was like Kurt was two different people. Although when Blaine really thought about it, even though Kurt was much more open and vocal when they didn’t have time to slow down and think it through, he still never really  _communicated_  what he wanted.  
  
Sex with Kurt was incredible, but Blaine wanted more. More ways to unwind and unravel Kurt. He wanted to know everything that Kurt loved, the best ways to touch him when they had the time to explore each other. Despite the multiple times they’d done this, Kurt was shy, unwilling or unable to tell Blaine what he most wanted, which touches turned him on and what didn’t do it for him.  
  
It was also kind of hard to tell what Kurt was ready for and what he wasn’t, when Kurt couldn’t talk about it. Sometimes, it felt like a lot of pressure, trying to read Kurt’s desire through his skin and bones, when what Blaine really wanted was to know best how to get him off. He really, really liked getting Kurt off.  
  
Like right now, even with his cock aching, balls tight to his body and pelvis shaking with how badly he needed to come, all Blaine wanted was to watch Kurt fall apart. He inched Kurt’s briefs down slowly, kissing his way from Kurt’s waist to the top of his pubic bone before cautiously taking Kurt in hand and kissing the tip of his erection. There was a tiny drop of precome there; when Blaine licked it off of his lips slowly, he couldn’t hold in his whimper. It was salty and sticky and he’d been dreaming of the moment he’d get to taste Kurt for so  _long_.  
  
He glanced up and found Kurt watching him. When their eyes met, Kurt looked away, embarrassed to be caught. Purposefully, Blaine licked up Kurt’s cock, trying to watch his face.  
  
“You can watch.” He whispered, digging his thumb into Kurt’s thigh, gripping so hard he knew he’d be leaving bruises.  
  
Blaine had a good idea that Kurt liked those bruises. Kurt had never complained; and once while getting dressed, he’d caught Kurt touching the finger shaped marks on his hips, soft-smiling and open.  
  
Under his hand, Kurt’s leg flexed, his hips twitching a little. Blaine had learned that even the most subtle movements of Kurt’s body translated a lot.  
  
“Kurt,” Blaine kissed just under the head of Kurt’s dick, tongue barely licking along the ridge, “Please watch. It’s so hot.”  
  
“Okay.” Kurt bit his lip, propping himself up on his elbows with tentative movements.  
  
~*~  
  
Kurt could  _not_  believe what was happening.  
  
Blaine was giving him a blow job. A  _blow job_.  
  
Despite how much he'd imagined this -- all the times this had played out in his head -- in real life, he had no idea how he was supposed to react.  
  
Kurt had fantasized about many things. After they started having sex, his fantasies had taken on this wonderful new quality, like someone had taken the lens of a camera and twisted just a little, bringing everything into sharper relief, into stunning focus.  
  
Because he knew now what Blaine’s body looked like under his clothes. He’d heard the sounds Blaine could make -- god Blaine was so loud sometimes -- and it was absolutely wanton, how easily Blaine gave evidence of his pleasure. Kurt had intimate knowledge of what it felt like to press his fingers slowly along the length of Blaine’s cock and watch his face as he fell apart.  
  
 _Oh god_ , Blaine’s  _cock_.  
  
Often that was all Kurt had to think about to come. If anyone else had been with him in the moments of privacy he found for himself, sequestered furtively under his covers at night, they would have seen how ridiculously fast he came just thinking about it.  
  
Kurt loved thinking about Blaine's dick, but that didn’t mean Kurt didn’t fantasize about other things. Where his fantasies had before left off, fading to black, he now could add color and dimension. His imagination had never been able to supply details before, and now that he could, his brain had taken that input and  _run_  with it.  
  
Because sex with Blaine was fantastic, but sex with Blaine in his imagination was beyond incredible.  
  
In Kurt’s fantasies, he wasn’t scared. He wasn’t shy or hesitant. Alone at night with nothing but his thoughts, Kurt was sexy and confident, sure of his ability to make Blaine moan and writhe and fully capable of expressing his own desires. His own pleasure.  
  
Kurt knew that Blaine loved everything they did together. There was certainly no shortage of orgasms between them.  
  
Somehow though, Kurt just knew it could be  _better_.  
  
When Kurt fantasized, he pictured things -- sexy, delicious, tantalizing things -- that he didn’t even know how to ask for. He imagined Blaine holding him down, pressing and rutting against him, his aching wrists pinned to the bed. He'd be helpless to whatever Blaine wanted to give him. Kurt would submit to it, moaning and whimpering and writhing and generally shameless.  
  
Kurt’s brain conjured all sorts of fantasies; Blaine going down on him, lips and tongue hot and so wet on him. Blaine’s finger, slick and sure, easing around his hole, pleasure sharp and immediate when it slipped in. How it might feel to have Blaine’s mouth sealed over him, tongue just barely inside where he’d be throbbing and fluttering and Kurt just knew it would feel so, so good.  
  
He could only envision what it would be like to do that to Blaine. Kurt’s mouth watered just thinking about it, how Blaine might smell or taste, saturating Kurt’s senses with so much that it would be hard to bear.  
  
Those were just his fantasies though. And while his fantasy life was so much enriched by the clarity of new knowledge, it really didn’t help with his current problem.  
  
Because there was something unsure inside Kurt that prevented him from ever really letting go. Sometimes he was so focused on doing and saying the right thing; Kurt found that he spent more time trying to  _make_  himself feel comfortable rather than actually  _being_ comfortable.  
  
Kurt very much envied Blaine, who was pure sex and sensuality in bed but never lost those qualities that made him  _Blaine_ ; the sweet and flirty boy who was always the consummate gentleman.  
  
Yes, Blaine Anderson somehow managed to be a gentleman even with his hand on Kurt’s dick and his mouth falling open while he groaned through orgasm.  
  
Kurt wasn’t sure why, but he had a hard time seeing himself as a sexual person. Sex was  _raw_ ; it was immediate and basic and as he had discovered, required an amount of letting go and unselfconscious that was easier to achieve in concept than in reality. Kurt had no idea how to reconcile who he was outside the bedroom with who he wanted to be inside it.  
  
Blaine’s mouth was just barely grazing his dick; the hint of heat and warmth seeped heavily in Kurt’s stomach, which was already churning with anxiety. He wanted so badly to be everything Blaine wanted in bed. When Blaine’s eyes met his, Kurt was mortified to be caught -- as if enjoying watching Blaine somehow wrong -- he had to turn away.  
  
“You can watch.” Blaine’s whisper sent nervous thrills through his body. Kurt knew that Blaine wanted him to get off on watching; that Blaine got off on Kurt getting off. When Blaine said it was hot, Kurt really wanted it to be, and so he propped himself up with unsure arms.  
  
The thing was, Kurt wanted to watch Blaine’s lips run along his cock and to moan because it felt so fucking good  _and_  because watching turned him on. Kurt told himself to let go, to cry out at the sight of Blaine’s tongue flashing pink, flicking along the very sensitive tip of his cock, but he couldn’t.  
  
“Do you like this?” Blaine asked, mouthing up the length of his erection. Kurt wanted to say  _Oh god, yes_ , to ask him to do it again only with more pressure; wanted to tell Blaine to lick slowly lower until he’d reached Kurt’s balls. He wanted to hold Blaine’s head cupped sweet in his hands and beg him not to stop, not to ever, ever stop.  
  
Instead all he managed was a small nod, trying to breathe quietly through his nose and somehow enjoy the visual of Blaine going down on him as much as he loved how it felt.  
  
But he just couldn’t. It was impossible to really enjoy the sensations when he was so intent on giving Blaine what he thought he wanted. When Kurt started, horrifyingly, to feel his arousal fade, he had to close his eyes, head thumping back against the pillow. Tears flooded his eyes; Kurt tried to breath through them, letting himself get lost in the moment. It was easier like this, when he couldn’t see himself; not having to acknowledge the frankly erotic images that somehow felt separate from who he was.  
  
“Kurt,” Blaine’s mouth came off of him. “Are you- is this too much?” The bed shifted until Blaine was right there, warm body and sweet lips on his. “I didn’t pressure you did I? You can tell me.”  
  
Kurt opened his eyes and skirted his trembling fingers over Blaine’s cheek. “No, not too much. It feels good, I just- I don’t think I can watch, it’s- it’s a lot.” Blaine’s eyes stayed on his, deep amber and concerned. Kurt shivered when Blaine’s hand ran over his too hot and prickling skin, hip to heart.  
  
“You sure?”  
  
Kurt laughed softly, “I’m sure. Please don’t stop.”  
  
Blaine smiled, impish and delighted. “Okay, good.” Blaine’s lips were wet, a promise and tease, moving down Kurt’s body before closing over his cock. With his eyes closed, Kurt could let himself  _feel_  everything; how hot and wet and incredible Blaine’s mouth was. Let himself appreciate the gusto with which Blaine went for it, sinking as deep as he could and sucking until Kurt couldn’t help the surge of pleasure swamping him.  
  
Blaine’s tongue felt wicked licking over the head, his groans vibrating against Kurt’s sensitive skin.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt wanted to warn him; brought his hand up to push lightly at Blaine’s head.  
  
“No,” Blaine whispered, sinking back over him once more then barely pulling off to nuzzle the base of his cock. “Come in my mouth, please.”  
  
So Kurt did, biting the side of his hand to keep his groans in, shaking until it felt like the seams of his body were splitting open, cock pulsing hard between Blaine's full lips into his waiting mouth. In that moment, his heart was utterly in Blaine’s hands, beating hard and contracting with love and then he was coming so hard that all he saw what white, white, white.  
  
~*~  
  
It seemed, Blaine thought, that sex would never be anything close to what he expected.  
  
He’d heard about what come would taste like- maybe bitter, or salty. He’d thought about it a  _lot_. The thought of Kurt in his mouth -- of taking something essential and so much a part of him -- into his own body really turned Blaine on.  
  
But he’d had no idea that it would be like  _this_. Kurt’s come was warm and slippery but somehow left a lingering trace, the reminder of that they’d done, in the recesses of his mouth. More than that though, was how having Kurt so close filled every one of Blaine’s senses until he couldn’t think, until everything was sharp edged pleasure. If filled his whole body, and when Kurt had spilled in his mouth, throbbing and gasping, everything inside Blaine overflowed, his own orgasm sudden and blinding.  
  
Blaine let Kurt slip slowly out of his mouth, and panting, trailed tender kisses along the crease of Kurt’s thigh. He came to rest with his face on the soft swell of Kurt’s still heaving stomach.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt’s voice was broken and unsteady, “let me, I want--”  
  
But Blaine just shook his head, then raised himself on weak arms to crawl up Kurt’s body.  
  
“I already--” His face was burning when his eyes met Kurt’s.  
  
“Oh,” Kurt said softly. He turned easily into Blaine’s arms, winding his limbs around his body. Kurt was still shaking, tremors shocking in his arms and legs.  
  
“Kurt,” Blaine pulled away tentatively, “are you- hey,  _hey_.” Blaine’s thumb caught Kurt’s tears, something like panic leaking through the haze of bliss and completion. But Kurt just closed his eyes, pressing his face into the curve of Blaine’s neck, shaking his head minutely.  
  
“Kurt, please, please talk to me.”  
  
“Blaine-” Against his own ribs, Blaine felt the breath; the way Kurt held it tight and tense, “I’m fine, I promise. I’m just...emotional.”  
  
“Good emotional? Bad emotional?” Blaine’s hands swept over Kurt’s back, down his arms, trying to give Kurt some sort of anchor.  
  
“Good.” Kurt’s whisper was almost lost in the sudden exhalation; his body began to unwind, becoming heavier and looser against Blaine’s.  
  
“Kurt I-” Blaine bit his lip, hesitating, “I love you.”  
  
Kurt’s arm, flung over his body, tightened as he snuggled closer, nose brushing against Blaine’s neck.  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
~*~  
  
Blaine never liked the moments when they had to say goodbye; he felt so deeply embedded in Kurt’s skin that tearing himself away left him hollow and aching. But it had never hurt as much as it did this night.  
  
There was something going on, something in the hesitation of Kurt’s fingers and the way he held his breath so rigidly wound in his chest. Blaine didn’t quite know what it was, but after tonight, it was plain that they needed to talk.  
  
Let it be known that Blaine realized he could be pretty clueless. Even so, he was pretty good at trying to make amends or rectify things once he finally tuned into what was going on.  
  
He was pretty tuned in right now.  
  
So he drove home and thought. He turned the radio off and steered carefully through the dark and thought, and thought, and thought.  
  
He lay in bed, thinking and mulling and breaking every physically intimate moment he and Kurt had shared apart, searching for answers.  
  
When he woke up the next day, he was still thinking, but having thought so much, he’d come up with a tentative plan.  
  
~*~  
  
“Hey you.” Kurt leaned against the bank of lockers next to Blaine’s, body easy limbed and smelling delicious. Blaine ducked his head before looking back up at him. Kurt’s voice was warm and familiar; it spread through Blaine like warm honey.  
  
“Hi.”  
  
It was pretty incredible, how much they managed to pack into these moments -- looks and subtle touches -- things no one else noticed. It was love unobtrusive, secret but treasured and still safe.  
  
“So...” Kurt bit his lip, glancing over Blaine’s shoulder before meeting his eyes again, flirty and bright. “I know it’s not on the calendar, but my dad has an impromptu thing he has to go to.”  
  
“Yeah?” Blaine felt his own smile, teasing and slow, flirting back. Kurt had a knack for a well timed head tilt and a sexily raised shoulder. It was come-hither and inviting and sensual, and Blaine knew that none of that was practiced. It was just  _Kurt_ , who unaware was so sexy it sometimes broke him down into desperate fragments of love.  
  
“After Glee?”  
  
Blaine closed his locker carefully. “I’d love that.” They had classes in opposite directions; Blaine brushed the back of his hand against Kurt’s when he walked away, turning at the last minute to catch a glimpse of Kurt’s back, long and straight and so perfectly him.  
  
~*~  
  
For all of his thinking, Blaine knew that his plan was tenuous at best. He had to time it right, say it right, and somehow, do this right, for Kurt.  
  
~*~  
  
“Kurt,” Blaine turned his head, breaking contact between their lips.  
  
“No, no, come back here--” Kurt pressed closer, lips on Blaine’s cheek and chin and down his throat.  
  
“Hng, oh- oh...no.” Blaine got his hands on Kurt’s shoulders and nudged him away, trying to ignore the way his toes curled when Kurt’s teeth sank gently into his skin.  
  
Kurt sighed, rolling away, face pouting and adorably sexy.  
  
“I--” Blaine hesitated, “can we talk for a minute?”  
  
“Yeah.” Kurt propped himself up on his elbow, concerned. “Is everything alright?”  
  
Blaine scooted closer, running his hand over the defined contour of Kurt’s bicep, winding his knee between Kurt’s. He waited, letting himself relax against Kurt’s familiar body; waited and breathed until Kurt softened too, molding and giving against him. He took a deep, steadying breath, and jumped in.  
  
“Do you remember when I said that I wanted you to be comfortable, so that I could be comfortable?”  
  
Kurt’s eyes were steady on his, a bright blue that shone in contrast to the alabaster of his skin. “Yes?”  
  
“I don’t know- I’m wondering if maybe we shouldn’t...” Blaine ran his hand from where it had been cupping the sweet, strong bones of Kurt’s elbow down to his wrist, letting his fingers trace softly over Kurt’s.  
  
“I don’t think you’re really comfortable. Maybe we should stop.”  
  
“Wait, what?” Kurt pulled away, but Blaine clung to him stubbornly.  
  
“Hold on.” Blaine curled his fists into the loose fabric of Kurt’s soft striped shirt. “Please just hear me out.”  
  
“Is it- did I do something wrong?” The small tone of insecurity hurt; Blaine tried to curl in closer, as if touching Kurt would somehow transmit his concern and love and assurance.  
  
“No, Kurt, I promise, it’s not like that.”  
  
“Is this because of last time...because I cried?” Blaine wanted to look into Kurt’s eyes; all he could see were his eyelids, eyes focused on Blaine’s fingers tangling with his at their waists.  
  
“No- well yeah, but not just because of that.”  
  
Kurt sighed and pulled his fingers away; drawing back into his body until his whole face drawing closed and guarded.  
  
“Kurt- I...I have a lot to say and I want you to know that I love you so, so much. And I want everything that happens between us to be something you want, that you’re comfortable with. Just,” Blaine swallowed, fortified himself, “just because we started doesn’t mean we can’t stop- that we shouldn’t stop if it turns out you aren’t ready yet.”  
  
Kurt’s eyes flicked up towards Blaine’s, the way he bit his lip only drawing more attention to how pink and full it was.  
  
“I don’t want to stop.” His confession was quiet. “I know that sometimes I...that sometimes it’s hard for me, to show you what you want to see--”  
  
“Whoa, wait--” Blaine propped himself up a little; his palm felt warm against the skin of Kurt’s soft cheek. ”What do you mean what I want to see?”  
  
This time when Kurt propped himself up too, the fabric of his shirt slipping down his shoulder. He looked into Blaine’s eyes.  
  
“I- you’re very...I don’t know that  _loud_  is the right phrase,” Kurt’s eyes twinkled ultramarine, “although you are.” Blaine smiled, picking Kurt’s fingers up again. “But I- you always tell me what feels good, and it’s so easy for you...letting go and you’re  _you_.”  
  
Blaine sighed, folding his arm back down onto the pillow and resting his cheek on it.  
  
“I’m not sure I understand.”  
  
“Well,” Kurt ran his fingers slowly between Blaine’s, “I can’t..it’s hard for me to...I just don’t see myself  _that_  way.”  
  
“You mean, like sexy?”  
  
Kurt shook his head; Blaine could see that he was picking his words carefully. “No, not exactly. More like -- sexual?” His cheeks flooded pink when he tripped over the word. Kurt cleared his throat primly. Blaine kept his eyes carefully on Kurt’s face, hoping that Kurt might look up at him. There was a pause, a heavy silence during which Blaine tried to understand Kurt’s words. “It’s...you don’t seem to have any problems being like that. I love it -- it feels like you really trust me. And I want to be like that for you too.”  
  
“Okay...” Blaine drew out the word, trying to make sense of what Kurt was trying to explain.  
  
“Blaine, I want you to know it’s not that I don’t trust  _you_.” Blaine nodded. Kurt shifted nervously before speaking again. “You know I wanted to wait--”  
  
“No, Kurt-  _we_  wanted to wait.”  
  
Kurt jiggled Blaine’s hand a little, taking a deep breath that he held.  
  
“I- I thought about making love with you for so long... and sometimes it doesn’t seem like making love." Blaine could feel his face fall and Kurt rushed on. “No- I like it. But it doesn’t always feel like I  _should_. I want to, but then my head gets in the way and I can’t seem to turn it off.”  
  
“Kurt, honey.” Blaine pulled Kurt’s hand to his own hip, untangling their fingers so that it draped over his side. Kurt curled them, cupping Blaine’s hip. “It’s always making love.”  
  
Kurt considered him for a moment.  
  
“To me, when we have sex it's always because I love you. Whether we’re fucking or taking our time or trying new things -- it’s never wrong, and I love it so much because I feel so much closer to you. It’s like I have no secrets, nothing left that I won’t let you touch.”  
  
Kurt lay down, touching Blaine’s cheek carefully; eyes bright with the start of tears.  
  
“Kurt if all I wanted was sex -- or if that’s all you wanted, for that matter -- I think that we both know there are places we could get that. We waited because we wanted it to be special.”  
  
“It is, Blaine." Kurt tipped his forehead against Blaine’s, eyes closed and breaths deep. “It is so special to me. And I’m trying to be more comfortable, I am.”  
  
“It’s hard for you,” Blaine hazards. “To feel like it’s okay for it to be really...sexual?”  
  
His own eyes were closed, but he could feel Kurt’s nod.  
  
“Can you -- can we talk about that?” He could feel the warmth of his own breath, so close to Kurt’s skin. Kurt’s hand curled around the back of Blaine's head, lips hard and seeking. Blaine kissed back, trying to gentle what seemed like too much, like needful searching.  
  
Blaine pulled away carefully, letting his lips brush against Kurt’s tenderly, folding the precious noise Kurt made into his heart.  
  
“Can I--” Kurt moved, rolling over so that his back curved along the lines of Blaine’s. Blaine ran his hand over Kurt’s arms, over the swell of muscle and the bumps of a pushed up sleeve, down to where they cradled warm over Kurt’s fingers. Together their arms rose with Kurt’s inhale, ribs expanding and pausing before they came down.  
  
Blaine tucked his head between the wings of Kurt’s shoulder blades, eyes closed, waiting for Kurt to break into the silence, waiting for Kurt to find the words.  
  
“I think everything started to go wrong after Finn.”  
  
“Finn?”  
  
“Well you know.” Kurt’s shrug jostled him a bit. Blaine was smaller through his shoulders than Kurt was, so spooning like this was a bit of a stretch for him. He loved it though -- somehow it managed to make him feel even safer than when Kurt held him.  
  
“When I had that crush on him, it wasn’t like part of it wasn’t attraction. It was. But I was young and even then, the things I thought about...they were kind of vague. He was nice to me, and good looking, and there were things -- like my mom -- that he just got.” Blaine tightened his hold on Kurt, pulling their tangled fingers against Kurt’s stomach.  
  
“But when he said those things,” Kurt’s voice was softer now, “about changing in the shower so I wouldn’t see him.” Kurt let the sentence hang, voice thicker; Blaine felt a tiny vibration through his back.  
  
“It wasn’t like that. I would never have--” Blaine untangled their fingers, finding Kurt’s cheek to wipe away the tears without looking. “It made me feel so dirty and just  _wrong_. I didn’t want people to see me -- because let’s face it, I can’t really pass anyway -- and think that’s who I was, that just being gay made me  _that_  person.”  
  
A tear slid from the corner of Blaine’s eye; it fell silent and unnoticed onto Kurt’s bed.  
  
“Even before all of that, I was used to not being touched. My dad...we have a good relationship now; it’s better than it was. For a long time we didn’t understand each other at all.”  
  
“Yeah?” Blaine encouraged when Kurt fell silent.  
  
“Not touching -- at first I was aware of it. It was safer that way. And then it became a habit. I didn’t even notice it anymore. Until you.”  
  
“Me?” Blaine pressed his lips into the dip of Kurt’s spine.  
  
“When I met you, you didn’t hesitate. To you it wasn’t a big deal. It was uncomfortable for me, at first. But you...you’re  _you_ ; every time you touched me, or hugged me -- held my hand -- you were cracking that shell a little more.”  
  
Their fingers unfurled, Blaine pressed his palm open over Kurt’s heart.  
  
“There’s a little bit left...the part that isn’t about you, but me. I’ve kept that part separate. It never felt right, watching movies like that or letting sex be about anything other than love.”  
  
Blaine didn’t think he could be holding Kurt any tighter to his body.  
  
“Now--” Kurt’s hesitation slowed the flow of words, “now I know so much more, and I think about...things. I want them but I don’t know how to act or what to do...”  
  
Kurt’s voice trailed off. Blaine wondered if they were both thinking of the tears; of the way Kurt’s body had shook like he was coming apart. Now Blaine understood, it wasn’t Kurt’s body, but something deeper. That shell, the part of Kurt that had been held separate for so long.  
  
Silence settled around them. Blaine let himself breath in it, timing the rise and ebb of his chest with Kurt’s.  
  
Finally, he spoke. “Let’s start over.” Kurt shifted, so Blaine continued. “Not with everything. But I want to make you feel good, and not like you should feel good. I want you to be comfortable with liking the things we do, with wanting them--”  
  
“But I do Blaine.”  
  
“I know you do. I mean something else.” Blaine let the pads of his fingers press into the muscle of Kurt’s chest. “I want to touch you, to go as fast or slow as  _you_  want. But I want you to tell me. Tell me everything you like, what feels good and what’s okay. What turns you on, what you’re thinking. And we can do it at your pace. Work on it until it feels right to you.”  
  
“Do you...do you think that will work?”  
  
Blaine sighed. “I don’t know. I hope so? Maybe if you get used to letting the small things feel okay, in your heart and not just your body, it’ll be easier for you to trust that the other things are really okay too. That they’re good -- that it’s okay to like sex any way we have it because that’s natural, and it’s natural to want to feel sexy and close to someone. That I’m a safe place to feel that.”  
  
The butterfly touch of Kurt’s fingers shivered across the back of Blaine’s hand. Carefully, Kurt brought it to his lips, whispering between tender kisses. “Yes.”  
  
~*~  
  
“Okay.” Kurt felt Blaine shift behind him; felt Blaine’s breath gust warm over his cheek when Blaine whispered, lips soft against his ear.  
  
“So what now?” Kurt shivered -- Blaine’s mouth was lingering, brushing against the outer curve of his ear, teeth scraping just a bit where it curled into the meatier flesh of the lobe.  
  
“Hmmm?” Blaine hummed, lips moving on to the hollow just behind Kurt’s ear. It felt a little strange, like it tickled a bit. Kurt squirmed away, then rolled back towards Blaine.  
  
“So what now?” Kurt repeated; Blaine’s eyes were wide and amused. When his fingers skirted the arch of Kurt’s brow, a touch so gentle Kurt almost leaned into it, Blaine’s smile grew broader.  
  
“Now this,” Blaine stated plainly, cupping Kurt’s cheek, meeting Kurt’s eyes.  
  
“Oh. Oh.” Kurt tried a flirtier smile, tamping down on sudden nerves. They were going to do this  _now_. “What do you--” Kurt’s hands paused in mid air, before coming up to skirt the top button of his shirt, “should I?”  
  
“No, Kurt.” Blaine’s hands were gentle, brushing Kurt’s back down. “Slow, okay?”  
  
Kurt swallowed, letting his eyes flicker over Blaine’s face a little more thoroughly. Blaine was calm, eyes searching Kurt’s face as if reading him. He let Blaine’s small smile wash through him, centering his uncertainty, and nodded. He didn’t know quite where they stood -- what Blaine expected -- but he was willing to try whatever it was that Blaine had in mind.  
  
“Alright,” Blaine’s whisper felt suddenly deeper, his eyes just a little more intense. “I want you to tell me.”  
  
“Tell you?” Kurt tried to control his fidgeting; he felt watched, studied in a way he wasn’t sure about.  
  
“What you like.” Blaine smoothed a hand over Kurt’s bicep, pressing his hand against the round of Kurt’s shoulder, until he was flat against the bed.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt let himself draw a finger against the defined boundary of Blaine’s hairline, down his forehead and skirting his ear. “I like everything you do.”  
  
“Well then.” Blaine’s eyebrow was a flirty invitation. “Tell me which you like better- this,” he leaned forward, brushing his lips with careful restraint, back and forth over Kurt’s lips, “or this.”  
  
Kurt let his eyes fall shut, absorbing the tiny bite of Blaine’s teeth in the full of his lip. He loved Blaine’s kisses, but this -- the edged tug against his mouth -- coiled something deep inside his stomach.  
  
“That,” He whispered against Blaine’s mouth, and was rewarded by a sharper nip and then soothed by Blaine’s tongue, which swept in and then slid slow and hot between his lips. Kurt couldn’t help but tense, the gravity of Blaine’s body drawing him in. Blaine’s head, cradled in the cusp of his palms, moved along with the deliberate intensity of his mouth, and when he bit again, harder and sharper, Kurt groaned, head spinning.  
  
Kissing had felt a number of ways before -- sweet and light, hot and desperate, amazing and tender. But he’d never had a kiss make him feel quite like  _this_  before, like fire burning through his mouth and his fingers and surging into his pelvis.  
  
“Blaine.” Kurt’s eyes opened slowly, lighting on Blaine’s. Close like this, with soft light all around them, Blaine’s eyes were even more startling -- dark centered, honey circled and intense. When Blaine looked away, it was a little coy and a little abashed; it was a look that left Kurt by turns aroused and deeply affectionate. Under his fingers, Blaine’s hair was starting to slip, loosening just a bit, incrementally softer as they pressed through the gel. “ _Blaine_.”  
  
Blaine’s eyes came back to his, body pressing just a little closer along the length of Kurt’s, before ducking in closer again.  
  
“This,” Blaine’s mouth was sweet at the hinge of Kurt’s jaw, breath cooling over the dampened skin as his lips explored the terrain of his neck -- a touch that tingled in tiny waves down his arms and along Kurt’s spine, “or that.” Blaine’s hand felt too warm, big and sure, fingers trailing and pressing, tracing the tendons and hollows from the boundary of Kurt’s shirt collar all the way up to his jaw.  
  
Kurt smiled, more sure of his answer. “This.” He wondered if Blaine was going to keep going at this pace; how long it would be before they couldn’t take any more. Already Kurt’s heart felt too heavy, hard thumping against his ribs, fingers clenched and trembling. God, they’d barely even done anything and his whole body was buzzing on edge. It wasn’t just the touch, but the care, spiraling through his heart and spilling into his too sensitive body.  
  
“Blaine.” Kurt turned his head, nuzzling into Blaine’s temple, finger pads digging into the curved dip of his skull. “Please.” He directed Blaine’s lips back to his; kissed him hard while moving his body more suggestively against where he could feel Blaine’s cock, impossibly hard. Blaine was giving over, losing himself into the persuasion of Kurt’s lips, when he pulled away.  
  
“No, wait,” Blaine took a deep breath, “I have plans.”  
  
Kurt whimpered pleadingly, rolling to face Blaine and draping a leg over him. But Blaine just laughed quietly, dragging Kurt’s hand up to his lips. His eyes met Kurt’s over his knuckles, alight with amusement. Kurt struggled to calm himself, watching Blaine, wondering what the  _this_  was, and what the  _that_  would be.  
  
He was not expecting what Blaine did next.  
  
~*~  
  
“This,” Blaine felt mischievous and sensual at once, spreading Kurt’s fingers and licking deep in the vee between Kurt’s second and third. He sensed Kurt’s surprise, the subtle shock and infinitesimal clench of his fingers. He let his tongue trace, a barely there touch, up the length of Kurt’s finger,  
  
“Or this,” Blaine moved Kurt’s hand to bite at the meaty flesh at the base of his thumb, then over to the outside edge of his hand, trying valiantly to ignore Kurt’s gasp.  
  
Blaine took a deeper breath, closing his eyes, then sucked Kurt’s littlest finger deep into the recess of his mouth. With his eyes closed, he was able to steep himself in the details; the sharp corner of Kurt’s fingernail brushing at the roof of his mouth. The slim, delicate length, hinged joints both fragile and somehow, precious, sliding between his lips. Blaine let it slip out, dragging his teeth along it and nipping at the pad fleetingly.  
  
He opened his eyes to Kurt’s, dazed by the incredible surge of desire that had pooled desperately through his body.  
  
“Or that?”  
  
Kurt’s mouth crushed against his; too intense, too wanton and searching. Blaine felt helpless to them, to Kurt almost panting and the leg over his hip pulling him in, closer and tighter.  
  
“Kurt.” Blaine tried to breathe, tried not to sway into the temptation of Kurt’s body vibrating against his. Kurt’s lips fell staccato quick over his own face, his lips, his neck. “Kurt, wait--”  
  
“No,” Kurt caught Blaine in another kiss; it was lush, desperately deep, Kurt’s tongue in his mouth rhythmic and so fucking  _sexual_  that Blaine felt his whole body throb, cock jerking when he ground instinctively against Kurt, “No more.  _This, this_  and  _that_.”  
  
Kurt’s fingers pressed into the small of Blaine’s back, five distinct points of pressure, gripping him closer as pleasure swarmed through Blaine, sudden and sure. Kurt shuddered against him, gasping, body tense and jerking, and then the whitewash of orgasm was pouring through Blaine’s limbs as he came hard into his pants.  
  
~*~  
  
“Oh,” Kurt was gasping, electric shocked and surprised, “oh wow.” He forced his fingers open, letting go of Blaine’s sweater vest slowly. “Blaine,” Nudging his forehead against Blaine’s, Kurt surged forward, melting into a frantic kiss. “Blaine that was so hot.”  
  
“Mm, yeah?” Blaine’s eyes opened, sleepy and slow.  
  
Kurt laughed a little, feeling the way it shook Blaine’s body a little in his arms. “You wanted,” Kurt tried to control how breathy his voice was, but gave it up as a bad job. His heart was still pounding so hard he could feel it in his fingertips and temples, “to know what turns me on?”  
  
“Absolutely.” Blaine snuggled in closer, shifting their bodies more. Kurt tried not to wince at how cold and gummy his pants felt.  
  
“That really,  _really_ , turned me on.”  
  
“Tell me about it.” Blaine nipped at Kurt’s lip lightly, then pulled back. He was smiling with his whole face, eyebrows and eyelids and ears perked like sunshine. Kurt couldn’t help but smile back.  
  
“We should clean up.” Kurt didn’t want to pull himself from the warmth and harbor of Blaine’s body, but the mess in his pants couldn’t be ignored any longer. Blaine bit his lip, then squeezed Kurt’s waist.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
~*~  
  
Later, at home in his pajamas and Kurt on the phone, Blaine could not stop thinking about it. It had been  _hours_  and his body was still vibrating.  
  
“I guess we should go now.” Blaine sighed. It was past eleven; no matter how much he’d like to fall asleep to the sound of Kurt’s voice, it wasn’t really practical. His phone got too hot pressed against his ear for that long.  
  
“Alright. Sweet dreams.” Kurt’s whisper echoed through the phone. Blaine closed his eyes, treasuring the sweet highlights of Kurt’s unique voice.  
  
“You too.” Blaine set his phone carefully on his nightstand, pulling the duvet up a little higher so that it pooled at his waist. Leaning back against the headboard, he ran his fingers over the seam thoughtlessly, events from that afternoon still playing through his mind.  
  
That afternoon had been...unexpected. Blaine wasn’t sure exactly  _what_  he’d thought would happen, but both of them coming without notice hadn’t even crossed his mind.  
  
He’d also never, ever thought that licking someone’s finger would be enough to make him come so hard it felt like his spine had dislocated.  
  
It was an image that made Blaine smile.  
  
Kurt, Blaine thought, Kurt made him feel...so many things. Things that balled up tight in his chest, delicious and homecoming good. When he turned, eyes running over folded and discarded Juicy Fruit wrappers, Blaine suddenly could not wait to give Kurt his Christmas gift. There were so many things he wanted to say; promises to make and keep.  
  
There were already promises they’d made; that Kurt had made -- to never say goodbye chief among them -- and Blaine just wanted to keep making them. To promise and promise and promise through the days and months and years of their lives.  
  
It was funny, how everything about Kurt seemed to endear him to Blaine. Sometimes, Kurt could be annoying as hell; he did things that irked Blaine, that frustrated him or left him completely confused. Even so, Blaine couldn’t help himself from falling more and more hopelessly in love. Maybe he was a dumb teenager caught up in young love, but he never, ever wanted it to end.  
  
Blaine rolled his eyes at himself. He was so sappy in love it kind of made him sick. He could see where Santana was coming from.  
  
Teaching Kurt to love his body in a completely new way was exciting, he couldn’t lie. Blaine honestly just wanted to crack and peel away Kurt’s exterior facade until he was desperate and open and ready to be fucked raw. Blaine didn’t want there to be any secrets between them.  
  
Turning off his bedside light, Blaine settled into his pillows, eyes staring into the darkness. When he closed them, it was Kurt he saw; Kurt smiling and laughing. Kurt sharp tongued and sarcastic and fabulous. Kurt who kept him guessing, fascinating in all the different people he could be. Kurt who came with his eyes closed for Blaine, who wanted Blaine to touch him, even through his hesitation.  
  
Kurt was right. That was  _so_  hot.  



	3. Chapter Three

“I heard a rumor about cookies.” Kurt said, dropping his bag in the doorway of his home.  
  
“Did you?” Blaine teased. “Where could you have heard such a thing?” He bent to take off his own shoes, then pushed Kurt’s hands aside, slowly untying and carefully taking off Kurt’s shoes.  
  
“Blaine.” Kurt’s fingers skirted over Blaine’s head, down to the nape of his neck, voice soft.  
  
“Kurt.” Blaine responded seriously. When he stood, he found Kurt waiting for their eyes to meet. The air between them had been charged, electric with the memory of Blaine’s promises at school; both of them overwhelmed and unsure about what came next. Kurt’s light teasing was the perfect segue, a way for them to ease into addressing what had happened.  
  
“Thank you.” Kurt’s lips were gentle, just barely ghosting over Blaine’s. “Promises of cookies, and kisses, patience with my quirks...” His hands toyed playfully with the collar of Blaine’s sweater. “I’m not sure what I did to deserve this, but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.”  
  
“Hmmm,” Blaine’s eyes flickered down to Kurt’s lips; his hands slipped around Kurt’s waist, pulling him closer. “So these kisses I promised...” His voice sounded hoarse, lower than usual.  
  
“No, no.” Kurt pulled away, happy and flirting with his eyes, mouth quirked. “My dad’s home. And I’ve been told I get cookies twice a year.” Kurt ducked his head, and when he looked up, was biting his lip. “You’ve only got a few weeks left this year.”  
  
“Cookies it is.” Blaine gave Kurt one last squeeze; Kurt bounced onto his toes, clasping his hands happily.  
  
“Yay.” Kurt took his hand to pull him toward the kitchen. “Although,” He shot Blaine a smile over his shoulder, “I’m not sure these count, seeing as I’m helping you make them.”  
  
Blaine’s hand smoothed over the back of Kurt’s jacket, fingertips grasping a little at the hem when Kurt moved away to start gathering ingredients. It was something else, watching Kurt like this. Moving in his own space, unaware and unguarded.  
  
“Okay,” Kurt appraised what he’d gathered on the counter. “I’m going to let you start on these,” He leaned past Blaine to pre-heat the oven. “While I slip into something more conducive to baking.”  
  
“Hey,” Blaine stepped into Kurt’s space as he moved out of the kitchen, “I don’t know if I told you, but you look...” He let his eyes rake purposefully down Kurt’s long body, “Incredible today.”  
  
“Blaiiine,” Kurt swayed a little, side to side, “You can’t just say things like that.”  
  
Blaine just smiled, and sneaking a look to be sure no one was in sight, leaned forward to kiss Kurt. He let himself really kiss him, deep and a little dirty, until Kurt was clutching his shoulders and breathing hard.  
  
“Mmm.” Kurt whispered. He pulled away, eyes were fluttering open slowly, “Can I have more?”  
  
“What about your dad?” Blaine’s could feel his smile, mischievous and flirty, “He might walk in at any minute.” Ignoring his own words, Blaine surged forward, nipping Kurt’s beautifully full lip before slipping his tongue in, relishing the way Kurt slung his arms over his shoulders, body comfortable and open for him.  
  
“You did promise,” Kurt breathed, voice higher than usual, eyes closing when Blaine’s mouth moved on to the beautiful hollow behind his ear. “To kiss me wherever and whenever I want.”  
  
“Yes I did.” Blaine bit a little at the skin just there, hands tight gripping Kurt’s waist.  
  
“Ahem.”  
  
Both boys jumped apart; Blaine looking down and away from Burt’s eyes. Out of the corner of his, just in his line of sight was Kurt. His hand was on his hip, jutted just so.  
  
“Yes?” Kurt’s voice was a mix of challenging and embarrassed; Blaine ran his hand over the back of his head in a nervous gesture. He hated getting caught by Burt;  _thank god_  the most he’d ever seen was them kissing.  
  
“Kurt,” Burt’s voice was a little warning, a little patience. “You know I don’t care if you guys...you know...kiss and stuff. But do you think you could tone it down in the kitchen?”  
  
 _Oh my god_. Blaine hoped that maybe the floor would swallow him whole. That  _and stuff_ f left a lot of room for interpretation. And apparently Kurt had caught it too, because when he spoke again, his voice was more chagrined, a little more apologetic.  
  
“Um, yes.” Blaine looked up in time to see Kurt fidget a little. “Blaine and I were just going to bake cookies. I’m going to go upstairs and change before I get flour on this fabulous outfit.”  
  
Blaine shot Kurt an incredulous look, imploring him not to leave. But Kurt didn’t look him in the eye, choosing instead to slip out of the room.  
  
“Traitor.” He whispered under his breath, blushing harder when Burt laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.  
  
“I guess you’d better get started on those cookies.” Burt was still chuckling when he wandered out of the kitchen, leaving a red faced Blaine behind.  
  
~*~  
  
As much promise as that Thursday had held, Kurt and Blaine hadn’t had any more private time together for the rest of the evening. Which was fine with Kurt, in a sense; it was nice to spend time with his family, nice to have Blaine with them for one more day before the holidays separated them for the rest of the weekend.  
  
But as the days wore on, it proved harder and harder to be so far from his boyfriend. They’d gone days without seeing each other before -- especially when Kurt had transferred back to McKinley. Kurt never wanted to think of himself as being so  _dependent_  on Blaine, but in the wake of Blaine’s promises, separation felt almost physically painful. Kurt went to bed every night with the lingering resonance of Blaine’s fervent  _I love you’s_  and  _goodnight’s_  echoing into the hollow of his ear and ached.  
  
Kurt wanted to press his body all along Blaine’s and speak into the deep, sweet secret spaces of his skin. To give Blaine his hands and tongue and heart and every shaking exhale their bodies elicited.  
  
Holidays always left Kurt feeling a little melancholy, lonely for his mother. He appreciated his new family so much; the creation of new traditions and a house filled with music and baked goods, but it would never be quite the  _same_. Even through the thin veil of sadness, this year Kurt would find himself doing something, like mixing dough for snickerdoodle cookies, and catch himself daydreaming about an amorphous future in which he’d be doing this with Blaine. In a home of their own, with traditions of their own.  
  
And then he’d miss Blaine so much that it hurt.  
  
Kurt had loved Blaine for a long time. Wanted him for longer (even when he’d not been quite sure  _what_  he wanted). He’d built dreams of a future with Blaine. But he’d never felt so  _sure_. So deep in the bones confident that it was going to work out for them.  
  
Late at night, alone in his room with the memory of Blaine’s fingers and hands and body on him, Kurt finally realized just how freeing that absolute trust was.  
  
When Blaine whispered into the phone on Christmas Eve, “Kurt, tell me what you want.” Kurt had laughed softly.  
  
“I think you ask me that every time we’re together.”  
  
“That’s because I want to hear.” Blaine said seriously.  
  
Kurt rolled onto his back, “I want  _you_.”  
  
“Well I know that silly,” Even Blaine’s  _voice_  was smiling, which made Kurt smile too. “I mean, I want you to tell me specifically.”  
  
“Oh?” Kurt kicked off his covers, feeling hemmed in and too warm.  
  
“Yeah...maybe consider it a part of our experiment.” His voice was dusky with promise.  
  
“How...Blaine,” Kurt broke off, covering a flushed cheek with his fingers.  
  
“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” Blaine rushed out, “I just thought that maybe it would help, if you learned to say out loud the things that you are feeling, that you want. With me.”  
  
“Because I trust you.” Kurt whispered.  
  
“And you can, always.” Blaine promised, fervently.  
  
“Okay,” Kurt exhaled, “I’ll try.”  
  
~*~  
  
They finally got to see each other, privately, the day after Christmas. The Andersons had gone to a work related holiday party, leaving Kurt and Blaine alone with a delicious stretch of uninterrupted time together.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt breathed out, face and lips pressed into the curve of his boyfriend’s neck. “Can we lie down?” He felt Blaine’s chuckle, the way his fingers tightened around his waist.  
  
“If that’s what you want.”  
  
“Oh,” Kurt pulled back to look into Blaine’s eyes, searching them and biting his own lip. “Now?”  
  
Blaine’s warm hands soothed up and down Kurt’s sides. “Only if you are comfortable with it, like I said.”  
  
Kurt glanced down, taking in the way their bodies pressed together, before nodding.  
  
“As long as you don’t care that I might be horrible at this. And that it’s probably going to be awkward.” He returned Blaine’s soft kiss, exhaling and relaxing into the pull of Blaine’s bones and muscles holding him so surely.  
  
“Don’t think of it that way, honey.” Blaine’s eyes were so sincere, dark lashes framing the golden brown beautifully, “It’s me. You don’t ever have to be embarrassed with me.”  
  
Kurt’s fingers were trembling; desire and nerves humming through him. “Alright.”  
  
Blaine leaned in, letting his lips drag over Kurt’s, exhaling hard when they opened, Kurt’s sweet tongue slipping along the seam of his lower lip. He let his fingers curl harder into Kurt’s side, thrilling at the way Kurt reeled him in harder, pressing against him, kisses more and more urgent.  
  
“Can we..Blaine-” Kurt pushed him a little, lips barely breaking from his to whisper.  
  
“Yeah,” Blaine managed to hook his fingers into the V of Kurt’s button down, backing them up and then crawling up onto his bed without breaking eye contact. He felt sexy; Kurt’s eyes were wandering up and over his body, gaze intense. The bed dipped under Kurt’s weight when he climbed on, hovering on all fours. He ran his nose and cheek up over Blaine, hip to neck, nuzzling through the layers of clothing between them.  
  
“Say it,” Blaine urged when Kurt’s fingers tugged impatiently at the hem of his shirt. Kurt’s eyes darted away, cheeks rosing before looking back.  
  
“Will you take this off?” His whisper was a little unsure, but he powered through, “Will you take it all off?”  
  
“Oh.” Blaine shivered, excitement racing through him at the idea of stripping before Kurt. Usually they undressed each other desperately, bodies pressed and limbs tangled. They’d looked at each other, sure, but never like this. Never putting on a show.  
  
Not that Blaine objected to putting on a show.  
  
“Here,” He nudged Kurt up; Kurt sat back with his legs folded under him, hands open, gripping his own thighs. Movements like molasses, Blaine started to pull his shirt up; Kurt’s eyes were wide and startling, almost green and so much darker than usual. Blaine let himself enjoy the way Kurt looked him over, taking in his chest and hips and arms. Slowly, Blaine popped the button of his jeans. Kurt watched, blinking and biting his lip; his hands spasmed before smoothing over his thighs.  
  
It was a bit awkward, shimmying out of his jeans and getting them past his knees, but Blaine managed without making a complete fool of himself. Kurt looked almost  _hungry_  for him, examining Blaine from thigh to eyes, face flushing hard.  
  
“Can I-” Kurt’s hand reached out then pulled back, movements tentative.  
  
“Can you what?” Blaine teased with more confidence than he felt.  
  
“Blaine.” Kurt whined, shuffling forward, fingers hot against Blaine’s skin, running up the line of his leg and lingering over his hip bone.  
  
“Tell me Kurt,” Blaine turned his head into Kurt’s kiss, lips already open while his heart hammered so hard he was sure Kurt could feel the pulse through his skin.  
  
“Touch you,” Kurt bit Blaine’s lip, hands sliding through Blaine’s hair, then gripping hard. “Let me touch you.”  
  
Blaine reached up, easing Kurt’s hand from the back of his head and over his chest. Kurt’s fingers lingered at his nipple, teeth settling in with his lips and breath over Blaine’s collarbone. Against his chest, Kurt took a deep breath before bringing Blaine’s fingers to the top button of his shirt. He cleared his throat.  
  
“Now me.”  
  
~*~  
  
Outside of their private relationship -- moments shared with Blaine when it was just the two of them -- Kurt was excellent and feigning confidence he didn’t always feel. Blaine was a safe space; a place where Kurt was more free to expose himself in a multitude of ways. He didn’t have to fake confidence with him -- he didn’t want to.  
  
But he was now. Communicating with Blaine about  _this_ , expressing what he wanted, felt so  _strange_. Kurt wanted to share the trust he felt with his boyfriend, wanted to expose himself in the deepest ways. He wasn’t fooling himself into thinking it wouldn’t be scary.  
  
Scared wasn’t sexy though, and even through his internal thread of insecurity, Kurt had to admit that what was going on between them was really, really sexy. Sexy enough to push him past his insecurities because he did  _not_  want to break the spell.  
  
Blaine undressed him quickly with shaking fingers. Where Kurt might not have let himself enjoy seeing just how much Blaine wanted him in the past, he did now. Blaine’s excitement was turning him on  _so much_. Once Kurt was naked, he melted into Blaine, their bodies shifting and sliding and  _oh god_ , Kurt felt like he was on fire for him.  
  
Blaine’s hands stayed steady on Kurt’s hips. He didn’t seem to be able to control the way his body rolled against Kurt, but his hands never moved. Kurt wanted, badly, to feel them everywhere -- between his shoulder blades and behind his ears, tracing the line of his ass down to his thighs and sweet behind his balls.  
  
Kurt whimpered against the skin of Blaine’s pec, sliding up with a slow arch, trying to move Blaine’s hands.  
  
“ _Oh Kurt_.” Blaine’s head was dipped back, eyes closed, fingers dimpling into the small of Kurt’s back.  
  
“Yes,  _yes_ ,” Kurt whispered against his adam’s apple. “Please Blaine.”  
  
“Tell me, tell me,” Blaine already sounded wrecked, grinding his cock, hard and hot and leaking a little, low against the crease of Kurt’s thigh.  
  
“I- I can’t,” Kurt’s voice broke a little, hands moving to grip the full swell of Blaine’s ass cheeks, fingers digging into the junction between them and the tops of Blaine’s thighs. “I can’t  _think_  like this, god Blaine you make me so- I feel so-”  
  
Blaine could feel Kurt trembling; gently he eased Kurt back onto the bed. Kurt’s hands slipped up his body, thighs parting; Blaine let himself sway into the devastating line of Kurt’s body before pushing up a bit to hover over him.  
  
“Kurt,” Blaine pushed back at Kurt’s soft hair which had fallen against his forehead. “Talk to me, are you okay?”  
  
Kurt’s eyes fluttered open, fingers cupping Blaine’s shoulders. He was still trembling, but moving in small, incremental waves against Blaine.  
  
“Yes,” Kurt took a deep breath, “I -- Blaine I trust you so much...I feel so safe with you. I want to work on this, I  _do_. But there are some words I just...they don’t feel comfortable and I want to push through but I also want to feel close to you and just  _be_  with you. I don’t know if I can right now, and I don’t want to disappoint you.”  
  
“Oh hey,” Blaine kissed Kurt’s eyelids and cheeks as tenderly as he could. “No, no. I’m sorry I don’t want to pressure you. You could _never_  disappoint me.” Their eyes connected; Blaine waited for Kurt to speak.  
  
“Alright,” Kurt let himself relax even more against Blaine; he could feel it in the way Kurt’s limbs became more lax, thighs spreading more easily so that Blaine could lie between them. “I still want to work on this though.”  
  
Blaine bit his lip, breathing deeply and trying to ignore the deep throb in his balls, the instinct to press into the damp, tender heat between Kurt’s thighs and just rut and rut until they were both coming apart.  
  
“Okay,” Blaine gasped, unable to stop the way he slid his body against Kurt’s, “How about this. I’m going to...” He searched for the right word, “Explore... a little. You tell me what’s good, what’s great, and what’s fine. We’ll learn how to talk about this together.”  
  
“ _Oh god_ ,” Kurt crushed his lips against Blaine’s, “You are so good to me.”  
  
“I want  _this_  to be good for you.” Blaine promised.  
  
“It is.” Kurt turned so that his nose dragged along Blaine’s chin, feeling the hint of stubble catch.  
  
“Alright.” Blaine felt almost shy. He understood what Kurt meant about certain words. They were easy in his head, but he’d never really said them out loud. Especially in bed. But maybe if he  _did_  say them, Kurt would feel easier about expressing what he wanted.  
  
“Well I already know you like  _this_.” He let his lips wander, exploring the deep curve of Kurt’s long neck, using his teeth and tongue liberally.  
  
“Mmmm.” Kurt shivered, “That feels,” he swallowed, and Blaine could tell that he was trying so hard, to push the words out, “Like my skin is coming alive. I can feel it all the way to the bottom of my spine.”  
  
“Wonderful,” Blaine praised, leaving one last tender kiss before moving on. “What about...” He let the question hang, moving aside so that he could explore further. His fingers skimmed down Kurt’s sternum before lingering at his nipple, catching a bit on the hardened nub.  
  
“That’s nice.” Kurt sounded more subdued. “But not-”  
  
“Not as much?” Blaine dipped down, taking Kurt’s nipple between his teeth.  
  
“That definitely feels better.” Kurt’s fingers followed a path over Blaine’s slicked back hair to the secret space behind his ears. “But not like what you were doing before.” He sounded shy and very hesitant.  
  
“Good.” Blaine smiled up at Kurt. He was trying so hard to ignore his own erection, which ached so much that even the friction of his skin against Kurt’s bordered on painful. “Nipples not as sensitive, check.” Under his cheek, which he’d rested on Kurt’s chest, he felt the faint vibrations of suppressed laughter. Into his ear Kurt’s heart was beating; a steady rhythm that felt grounding, like the center of everything Blaine loved.  
  
Blaine let his palm sweep, pressing a little, over Kurt’s ribs (where he already knew that Kurt was extremely ticklish), down the swell of his bicep. With his head still resting against Kurt, he kept moving his hand until his fingers were tangling with Kurt's. He felt a swell of pride when Kurt’s breath caught. He let his fingers slide slowly between Kurt’s, trying to make the touch as sensual as he could.  
  
“That’s,  _oh_ -” Kurt swallowed hard, the finger pad of his free hand soothing rhythmically still behind Blaine’s ear, “Why does that feel so, _uh_ , incredible?” Kurt’s body shifted restlessly, hips tilting up a hint. Blaine’s smile was wide, and when he lifted it, he found Kurt’s face a study of delicate pleasure.  
  
“Wow,  _Kurt_.” Blaine surged up, fucking his tongue into Kurt’s mouth, letting his fingers curl and grip between Kurt’s tightly. “That is so hot.”  
  
“I love that,” Kurt’s voice was low; he was biting his lip and looking down at Blaine. “I love it when you say that to me.”  
  
“You  _are_  Kurt,” Blaine promised, “You are so hot.”  
  
“You make me feel sexy.” Kurt closed his eyes and whispered it like a secret. Blaine felt his heart tighten, the sweep of affection and love and pride blooming bright under his skin. He tried but couldn’t count the emotions, letting them unfold like the petals of a flower, deep inside.  
  
With his fingers still threaded through Kurt’s, he worked his mouth down Kurt’s shoulder, turning his arm so that he could press his nose and lips down his bicep. Secret in these spaces he could smell Kurt, feel the strength in his muscles. Kurt cried out when his teeth sank into the meat just under his bicep, fingers gripping Blaine’s neck so hard it tingled.  
  
“Oh,” Kurt’s voice was high and breathless, “Don’t stop.”  
  
“I won’t.” Blaine kissed the spot where he’d left a faint mark, then slid down carefully, avoiding contact between their skin and their cocks. Kurt’s was deep red, precome dripping onto the beautiful rise of his stomach. Blaine ached to run his tongue just there, to lap it up and roll the taste back into his mouth.  
  
“Can I,” Blaine paused, working through the embarrassment of wanting to say the words out loud, “Can I suck your cock?”  
  
He looked up to see Kurt biting down on his fist -- he would have hoped it was to contain his pleasure, but from the way Kurt’s body shook, he could tell it was laughter. “ _Kurt_.” Blaine whined a little.  
  
“I know,” Kurt apologized, “It’s just, the words. It’s like porn dialogue.”  
  
“I know,” Blaine smiled, “Okay, so what works for you? Go down on you? Give you head? Lick your dick?” He didn’t even manage to make it through the last one without dissolving into giggles. Kurt was laughing out loud now, which in turn made Blaine laugh even harder.  
  
“Oh,  _shut up_.” Blaine slapped Kurt’s hip lightly.  
  
“Okay, okay.” Kurt took a deep breath, trying to get himself back under control. “So, given the options, I think I like the first.”  
  
“Which was?” Blaine prodded lightly. It had been hard to say the words, but he’d wanted to push through, and hoped Kurt would too.  
  
“Suck my...” Kurt’s face flushed a hard red and he whispered, “Cock.”  
  
And  _wow_  Blaine was not expecting to feel his blood surge like that, hearing the word come out of Kurt’s mouth. He groaned into Kurt’s hip. Kurt was moving again, hips canting just a bit to an unheard rhythm.  
  
“Okay.” Kurt whispered, then giggled a little, “Although I’d like to keep lick my dick-  _oh my god_  I can’t believe I just said that.” Kurt was laughing again, “As an option.”  
  
Blaine was laughing too. He’d never thought sex could be like  _this_. Fun, with laughter that felt so freeing, but also so desperately  _hot_. Yeah, it was definite. Sex was the best thing,  _ever_.  
  
~*~  
  
“Mmmm.” Kurt hummed; Blaine was running his nose along the seam of his thigh. When Blaine inhaled, Kurt felt a momentary hitch, a spiral of uncertainty.  
  
“Kurt, you smell so good.” Blaine whispered against his skin, sneaking one hand around Kurt’s hip.  
  
“Okay.” Kurt exhaled, letting himself trust that Blaine would never be anything less than honest with him. It was kind of -- well, really -- sexy, Blaine so close and enjoying him. This was something Kurt had fantasized about, even when he wasn’t ready to let himself really _want_  it. Blaine’s tongue was spreading, licking flat and long down to his balls.  
  
“Yes,” Kurt let his thighs fall wider, giving into the pull of Blaine’s mouth. This was sex he’d dreamed of, basic and raw and almost wild. “Yes, please Blaine.” He let himself ask, gasping when Blaine opened his mouth, then closed his lips around his balls. Blaine’s fingers were pulling at his hip, urging Kurt to roll onto his side.  
  
“Come here,” Blaine pulled away to whisper, and so Kurt did, letting Blaine drape his leg over a shoulder. For the first time, Kurt let himself really watch; watch the way Blaine had wrapped himself in Kurt’s body, mouth wicked and somehow it felt filthy but in the most sexual and incredible way.  
  
“Oh my god,” Kurt was letting go, opening his body and mouth and untethering the words from where they’d always lodged deep in his chest. “Don’t stop, don’t stop, don't stop.” He chanted.  
  
Blaine was moaning, fingers gripping Kurt’s ass, then slipping up the line to press hard into his sacrum. Something about the touch; the hint of pressure along his crack that promised something more, one day, the digging fingers in the base of his spine, sent hot waves through Kurt’s body.  
  
“Oh  _fuck_.” Kurt gasped. With one hard pulse, he came into Blaine’s mouth, hand spread over the back of Blaine’s head, pushing slightly and spreading his legs farther apart. He’d never felt so incredible before. He came down with nothing but joy and amazement, something more complete than ever before. This was what it was like, Kurt realized. What it meant to connect with himself as a sexual person, to enjoy sex on the most instinctive level. Trusting Blaine with every part of his body, uninhibited.  
  
“Oh god, Blaine.” Kurt let the wonder leak into his voice, even as he rolled and shifted to pull Blaine up his body, “That was the  _best. thing. ever._ ”  
  
And then he did something he’d never done before; something he’d barely ever let himself fantasize about. He pulled Blaine in hard, biting his lips open and slipping his tongue in, aching and searching for his own taste.  
  
“Kurt,” Blaine pulled away, hips jerking erratically against him, “I- I’m going to...” He bit his lip, then whimpered when Kurt pushed him away roughly.  
  
“No, no you don’t.” Kurt smiled, “I want to, too.”  
  
Blaine groaned, covering his face with trembling hands.  
  
“But you have to say it.”  
  
“Uh,” Blaine uncovered his face; flushed skin of his forehead sheening with the lightest hint of sweat. “Yeah, please. Suck my cock.” He inhaled hard, eyes burning on Kurt’s, “Suck my cock, please,  _please_.”  
  
Kurt had to close his eyes; even well used and spent, his dick twitched. He bit hard as he moved down Blaine’s body; his ribs and hip and the inside of his thigh. This was only the second time he’d gotten to do this -- Blaine got off so hard on Kurt getting off that there wasn’t usually much opportunity. He wanted to make it last, to linger and taste and wallow in Blaine.  
  
Which didn’t really work out, because as soon as he closed his mouth over Blaine’s erection, savoring the taste of his precome, Blaine came, hot come spurting into his mouth and down his throat.  
  
Kurt swallowed awkwardly, feeling some drip down to his chin. Eyes on Blaine, he took his finger, scooping it and then licking it off. He cleared his throat and smiled down at his boyfriend; panting and wrecked with deliciously pinked skin.  
  
“Next time, I’m going first.” He promised, running firm hands, open and flat, up Blaine’s body until he was draped over him, sealing his words with a kiss.  
  
~*~  
  
If Blaine hadn’t been buzzing in the afterglow of one incredible orgasm, he might have felt a little embarrassed at how quickly he’d come.  
  
Only, he’d just come so hard his ears were still pulsing, heart pounding, body wrecked against the sheets. It was hard to feel or think anything right now.  
  
Awareness and more coherent thoughts began to trickle in, slow then rushing, when Kurt crawled up and lay, deliciously sated and boneless and soft against him.  
  
“You’re kind of dirty.” Blaine slurred.  
  
“Um-” Kurt’s whole body tensed and Blaine moved faster than he thought possible at that moment, wrapping him up tight. Apparently, panic was good for clearing post-sex-haze.  
  
“I meant that in the best possible way.” He stated.  
  
“There’s a best way to be dirty?” Kurt started to relax against him, fingers uncurling, tracing lightly at the tendons of Blaine’s neck.  
  
“ _That way_. Best way.” Blaine punctuated his statements with short, tender kisses. When Kurt pulled back to eye him warily, Blaine sighed and settled his head more comfortably on the pillow across from the one Kurt was using. “Remember the thing I said about it being love no matter how we do it?”  
  
“Yeah?” Kurt’s eyes were at half mast, the faint tinge of pink slowly dusting his skin. He glowed bright and sweet; so beautiful it ached in Blaine’s heart.  
  
“Well, what we just did...it felt like trust. Like you opened yourself to me, and trusted me, and I’ve never felt so loved. And turned on. And good.” Blaine smiled, hand squeezing Kurt’s side. “And did I mention, turned on?”  
  
“So, dirty is a good thing.” Kurt’s eyes flitted back up to Blaine’s.  
  
“In this case, oh my god,  _yes_.”  
  
“Alright then.” Kurt’s smile was wide, his body almost too warm against Blaine’s. Blaine wouldn't have had it any other way.  
  
~*~  
  
“So.” Blaine leaned against a bank of lockers, watching patiently as Kurt rubbed yet another moisturizer into his skin. The air was damp enough in the locker room that he knew he’d have to use more gel on it, but he wanted to wait for Kurt. Even if it took twenty minutes longer for Kurt to get dressed than Blaine thought necessary.  
  
“So?” Kurt turned his face to the side, examining himself; somehow he managed to preen and look critical at the same time.  
  
“Do you think that was over the top?”  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt laughed, capping his moisturizer, smoothing his fingers over his skin carefully. And Blaine hoped, for the last time. “It was a proposal in a pool, with synchronized swimmers -- Mr. Schue  _walked on water_  in a white tux. Of course it was over the top.” Kurt rolled his eyes.  
  
“You loved it didn’t you?” Blaine asked softly, eyes tracking Kurt’s movements as he stood, bending to gather his toiletries. When he straightened up to look Blaine in the eyes, his smile was soft.  
  
“You know I’m a sucker for romance.” Kurt shrugged one shoulder in a move that was a little self deprecating.  
  
“I love it.” Blaine risked a glance around -- the locker room was almost empty. “I love you.” Carefully, he let his fingers ghost over Kurt’s shoulder, down to his knuckles.  
  
“I love you too.” Kurt’s eyes were on his mouth, his breath just a little fast.  
  
“ _Kurt_.” Blaine tried to ignore the way his stomach tightened even when his tone was cautioning. This time when Kurt shrugged, his body language matched the mischievous look in his eyes.  
  
“I can’t help it Blaine.” Kurt stepped just a little closer, closing the space between their bodies enough to bring every cell of Blaine’s skin into awareness, but not so close as to attract negative attention. “Romance  _really_  works for me.”  
  
“Yeah-” Blaine couldn’t bring himself to step away, even when he was sure that anyone could see the tension crackling hot and fast between them, “Okay.”  
  
Kurt smiled and turned to leave with one last flirty glance -- it speared through Blaine, turning him up and on and inside out. It was the promise of something  _more_  close on the horizon, and  _god_  he couldn't wait.  
  
~*~  
  
They stared at each other for a full 30 seconds after the door closed before moving. Even with the scent of Carole’s perfume still lingering in the air -- her car barely turned out of the driveway -- Kurt didn’t hesitate to climb from his spot on the couch (a respectable distance from Blaine), throwing his textbook onto the floor, and into Blaine’s lap.  
  
“Oh god, I thought she’d never leave.” Blaine moaned.  
  
“I didn’t think she’d even  _be_  here.” Kurt responded, tugging Blaine’s head back by his curls to angle his lips a little better. Kurt pressed him deeper into the couch, lips still attached to Blaine’s, leveraging his height to his advantage. Under him, Blaine whimpered, hands curling reflexively against Kurt’s hips.  
  
The position -- the way he had to angle down to meet Blaine’s mouth, the way it felt like his body was swallowing Blaine’s; the emphasis on the difference in their bodies -- all worked like electric heat through Kurt’s already too sensitive body. He was ridiculously turned on, considering that he’d only been kissing Blaine for approximately one minute.  
  
Although, honestly, he’d been  _so_  turned on ever since they’d talked to each other in the locker room.  
  
“Let’s move this upstairs.” He gasped, body swaying helplessly against Blaine’s.  
  
“Okay.” Blaine followed Kurt’s lips, leaning forward until Kurt had to break his lips away, climbing awkwardly off of him. Kurt took Blaine’s hand, firm and sure, then led him up the stairs, feeling the heat of Blaine’s gaze over his body as if it were his hands.  
  
“God,” Kurt slammed the door to his room shut with his foot, tongue in Blaine’s mouth less than a second later. He kissed him hard and deep, fingers white tip curled over Blaine’s biceps. “You’re delicious.”  
  
“Mm.” Blaine’s eyes opened slowly, hazed and dreamy. Blaine’s body was easy in his hands; it made Kurt feel in charge, somehow. Powerful, but not like he was taking anything  _from_  Blaine. More like he had everything to  _give_.  
  
“Get on the bed.” Kurt pushed lightly; his skin prickled when Blaine went easily, tugging Kurt after him with fingers looped through the waistband of Kurt’s pants. “Please.” He added, following Blaine down onto the bed, body melting over his. Kurt’s lips curved easily against Blaine’s mouth -- he felt like he was smiling from everywhere deep inside, from a reservoir of love he’d only just begun to explore. When he thought of the years, of the lifetime, he’d get to learn and grow into it, his whole body lit with joy.  
  
“Kurt.” Blaine’s fingers moved like whispers along his cheekbone, voice rich and low.  
  
“Take off your clothes, please.” Kurt rolled to the side, impatient fingers already tugging Blaine’s polo out of his pants.  
  
“You don’t have to say please.” Blaine looked at him earnestly, hand stilling the movement of Kurt’s fingers. Kurt’s own teeth felt sharp on his lip, grounding him into his skin, his too tight, tingling and feverish skin. He thought about everything they’d done in these last months. Everything said; the ways Blaine had worked to coax him into deeper comfort and intimacy. And although he always wanted Blaine, today he wanted something just a little more. Something deeper -- his heart felt so connected to Blaine’s, and for the first time, Kurt really felt what it meant to trust in the safety of their intimacy.  
  
“Oh god,” Kurt closed his eyes before tipping into Blaine, lips wet and open and heart pouring out between them. “Okay.” He cleared his throat, then pulled away to meet Blaine’s heated stare.  
  
“Take off your clothes.” Kurt didn’t move, hardly breathed, eyes never straying from Blaine’s. Somehow, Blaine managed to strip without ever breaking their gaze. Only when he was bare, skin warm glowing, did Kurt let himself look. They didn’t talk; only the sound of their breathing surrounded them. Only once he’d let himself look, really  _look_  -- from Blaine’s toes all the way up past his gorgeously flushed red cock, past his dusk dark nipples and over the sweet rounds of his shoulders, did he speak again.  
  
“Okay,” Kurt’s swallowed; his voice was high, breath pitched in a way it only got when he was desperately turned on. “Don’t move.”  
  
“But,” Blaine’s fingers drifted toward the hem of Kurt’s shirt, “Your clothes.”  
  
“Not yet.” Kurt teased, fingers already busy skimming over Blaine’s trembling stomach. He let them trace, slow enough that Blaine’s ribs vibrated with a hint of laughter, between the dips of Blaine’s abs. Kurt pressed the pads of his thumbs into the sharply defined cut of his hips. His cock throbbed; Blaine’s body was pliant under his hands. Everything about Blaine, from the loose knitting of his joints to the soft ease of his eyes, radiated deep trust.  
  
Kurt bent, licked his lips lightly before dragging them from Blaine’s belly button down to the edge of his pubic hair. He shifted uncomfortably, pants too tight, sweating a little from the heat pumping from his own body and Blaine’s. Kurt didn’t let his lips separate from Blaine’s hushed gold skin, even when he re-situated himself between Blaine’s legs. He took a deep breath, then tilted his head up to meet Blaine’s eyes.  
  
“Put your hands on my head and don’t come until I tell you to.” Kurt felt a little wicked and sexy when he smiled up at Blaine, “Don’t worry, you can pull my hair.”  
  
“Kuuuurt.” Blaine’s fingers were less than gentle when they threaded through his hair. Messy mouthed and heart hammering, Kurt paused, lips leaving a wet trail along Blaine’s inner thigh.  
  
“Yes?” His scalp prickled where Blaine’s fingers were tugging.  
  
“You can’t-  _oh god_ ,” Blaine gasped; under Kurt's tongue his cock was warm, skin so soft and inviting that Kurt’s mouth watered. “You can’t tell me to pull your hair  _and_  that I can’t come. That’s not  _fair_.” Blaine’s head tipped back, adam’s apple bobbing with the rasp of his words.  
  
“Watch me.” Kurt whispered, trying to thread more confidence than he felt into the words. This time when he brought his mouth to Blaine’s dick, he didn’t bother to play coy or to tease. Instead he slipped his lips over the head, sinking down over Blaine’s length as far as he could. Kurt didn’t pause to let the sharp-salt tang of Blanie’s precome sliding over his tongue register. Instead he kept moving his mouth up and down as steadily as possible.  
  
Kurt tried to keep his mind open, to take in everything his senses were telling him. To record Blaine’s cries in order to know what worked best. To really feel the rich give of Blaine’s skin against his fingers, and to allow Blaine’s scent to saturate everything.  
  
But it was kind of hard to focus on Blaine’s dick with all of that going on. So instead of trying to keep tabs on all of the above, Kurt tucked one hand around Blaine’s hip, palm cupping the swell of Blaine’s ass, and propped himself up on that elbow. Blaine hadn’t made any sort of noise that could be construed as complaining in anyway -- Kurt figured there wasn’t much he could do wrong here so long as he was careful with his teeth -- so he let himself tune Blaine’s choked off noises of pleasure. There, touch and sound taken care of. Now he could focus.  
  
The problem was, Kurt had never really had a chance to give Blaine a proper blow job. By the time he ever got a chance, Blaine was so strung out and horny from whatever wicked thing he’d been doing to Kurt, he came pretty much right away anyway.  
  
Kurt loved that he turned Blaine on that much, really he did. But he’d also been fantasizing about getting to do  _this_ , to properly go at and enjoy this, for  _months_. A lot.  
  
In his fantasies, though, it was much easier to figure out how to coordinate his mouth with his hand, which was curled around the base of Blaine’s cock, attempting to stroke in rhythm with his lips. And he had to breathe right? He’d never even thought about the difficulties presented by trying to breathe while going down on someone. Another thing about his fantasies? Blow jobs were  _not_  this messy. God, there was spit  _everywhere._  
  
“ _Oh god_ , sorry.” Kurt pulled away, wincing a little at the way his own spit squelched through his fist, trying to rearrange himself without stopping the steady pumping of his hand.  
  
“No, no.” Blaine’s impatient fingers, curled tight into his hair, tugged, trying to pull Kurt back down. “Don’t stop,  _please, please_  don’t stop.”  
  
 _Well then_. Kurt smirked. It might not have been a perfect blow job, but Blaine’s fingers and gasps and curling toes cracking into the bedspread were certainly encouraging. This time when he started again, it was slower. Kurt let himself really savor; curling his tongue around the ridged head; letting it flick and sample the seeping precome in his slit. Letting Blaine’s skin slide over the flat plane of his tongue, root to tip. For the first time, Kurt let himself feel the confidence to explore. He feathered his fingers carefully over the soft heft of Blaine’s balls, tracing their individual circumference with one careful fingertip.  
  
“Oh  _fuck_  Kurt.” Blaine’s fingers tightened, and while Kurt loved reducing Blaine to nothing more than swear words and moans, it was getting to be a bit much.  
  
“Blaine.” Kurt pulled back, “I said you could pull, not tear my hair from its sockets.”  
  
And then a few things happened in rapid succession.  
  
First Blaine, circled his hips a little, broken voice whispering, “Oh damn, why does it turn me on  _so much_  when you use that tone of voice?”  
  
It was raw and so honest and Blaine was so seriously turned on that Kurt could not help but whimper into Blaine’s damp hip, before sliding his thumb back over Blaine’s helplessly twitching balls. All at once, with more coordination than he’d given himself credit for, Kurt licked up Blaine’s cock and simultaneously pressed along the hot dark skin of Blaine’s perineum.  
  
Which was when, with a groan and a jolting jerk, Blaine came all over Kurt’s face.  
  
~*~  
  
If Kurt had to make a reasonable estimate, it probably only took about fifteen seconds for Blaine to stop gasping, cock still twitching in his frozen hand, before realizing what happened.  
  
If you asked Kurt right then though, he would have told you it felt like hours of sticky, shocked surprise.  
  
Whichever it was, it was long enough for Kurt’s brain to whir to life, frantic thoughts ( _oh this is so gross_ ) he might not have been proud of, or would ever have admitted out loud ( _It was so much hotter when I thought about doing this to you_ ) and some of which were probably expected ( _what is this going to do to my skin, oh my god why did I never research that just in case?_ )  
  
None of which he said out loud.  
  
The interminable space in between Blaine  _coming on his face_  and Blaine realizing that he’d just done so was long enough for Kurt to try to control his thoughts and still feel the slide of the thick, still warm substance dripping from his cheekbone and onto the bed. Long enough for Kurt to wonder just how long it was going to take Blaine to come down. Only he couldn’t see just what Blaine was doing because it was all over his right eyelid and even he wasn’t so sheltered he didn’t know just what his eye would look like if he got it in there.  
  
“Oh shit.”  
  
 _Finally_ , Kurt thought, only slightly viciously.  
  
“Kurt, oh my god-” Blaine moved, cock (still grasped in Kurt’s shocked grip, even though it had rapidly softened), sliding from his fist. Kurt didn’t dare move or talk; it was all over his lips and although he generally loved swallowing Blaine’s come it just felt disgusting right now because it was  _all. over. his. face._  
  
He felt something like cotton swiping over his skin; probably Blaine’s undershirt. He was trying to clean off Kurt’s face, he could tell, but all his ministrations were really accomplishing were to smear come even more thoroughly all over. Which was enough to have Kurt rearing back, grabbing Blaine’s wrist to tug the shirt out of his hand. Quickly he wiped off his lips, then as calmly as he could, managed to speak.  
  
“Blaine, get me a washcloth.” The come was now drying, cracking and sticking to his face. Kurt kind of thought he might die soon. And yeah, that was maybe a little melodramatic. Whatever.  
  
Fantasizing about doing this to Blaine was one thing. Kurt could maybe acknowledge (or would later when he’d been cleaned up and had a moment to think clearly) that this was clearly an unfair double standard. As many times as he’d thought about doing this -- streaking Blaine’s beautiful face with himself, marking him and using him and wanting Blaine to submit to him -- Kurt never actually wanted Blaine to do it to him.  
  
When Blaine came back, bed dipping under his weight, it was with a warm washcloth.  
  
“Kurt, honey I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to do that.” Kurt sat still, letting Blaine carefully wipe his face clean, one hand warm cupped around his neck to keep him still. He sounded so  _guilty_ , and it twisted into Kurt; it felt like forgiveness (even though Kurt knew he really didn’t have anything to forgive, it was an accident) and tender love.  
  
Finally he stopped the movement of Blaine’s hand, taking the washcloth to clean his own eye thoroughly.  
  
“Blaine,” His own voice was quiet; he opened his eyes to find Blaine’s anxious and apologetic. “It’s okay.” His lips carried a slight residue of come (well his whole face really), but were soft on Blaine’s. Kurt cradled Blaine’s cheek with one palm. “I know it was an accident.” He let his smile widen into something a little teasing. “But it was not what I was expecting and I think I'm seriously freaking out about my skin, so is it okay if I go wash my face?”  
  
“Yeah. Of course” Blaine chased Kurt’s lips for another kiss, eyes still slanted with apology, “I’m still really sorry.”  
  
“Forget about it.” Kurt climbed off the bed, trying to keep the wet cloth from touching the bedspread. A sudden thought paused him; laughter taking him by surprise.  _This_  was intimacy, he realized; imperfect and not always sexy -- but somehow really perfect, because it was with Blaine, and that made all of it okay. He turned back to Blaine with twinkling smile, walking backwards while talking.  
  
“I really love you.”


	4. Chapter Four

Kurt stared at his reflection in the mirror, trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened. Even though Blaine had gotten most of the come, Kurt could still see faint traces of dried streaks; when he touched them, white flakes scraped off lightly. He shuddered then turned the water up, hot.  
  
His hands were methodical, muscle memory taking over the task of scrubbing and cleansing. Which was nice because it left room for the rest of his brain to fire up to life. Despite how it all ended, that had been  _incredible_.  _Blaine_  was incredible. His body was incredible -- _god_  -- finally getting to take his time and appreciate it had been incredible. And Blaine’s cock. Kurt felt like he could compose sonnets to it. Sexy, sexy sonnets no one would ever see. That he’d maybe jerk off to. All of it was just  _incredible_. He didn't have enough brain power to come up with different adjectives. Not when the only thing he had room for was Blaine; Blaine, Blaine, Blaine.  
  
He’d probably be jerking off to these memories burning into his mind -- the smell of Blaine and the heft of his dick sliding into Kurt’s mouth, stretching his lips almost too much -- for a very long time. He would think about them and touch himself and work the moment out, stringing his body along to the pleasure of memory Blaine, thighs open and fingers gripping his hair too hard. Of Blaine, wrecked and brought to the edge and spilling over and into rapture.  
  
“Hey.” When the bathroom door behind him opened, Kurt’s eyes did as well, moving from his own reflection toward Blaine’s. Toward Blaine’s naked body, which was propped against the door jam, arms crossed.  
  
Kurt had seen Blaine naked, obviously. Many times. But  _this_ ; Blaine’s body removed one step from his own gaze -- it was like finally getting to really see the whole thing. Getting to see Blaine’s body as one package, not just an assembly of parts that Kurt wanted to touch and lick and fuck up against.  
  
Blaine’s body was art. From his toes ( _curled nervously into the carpet_ ) to the light dusting of hair that worked finer and lighter from his calves to his thighs, the palest, next to most secret part of his body. Blaine’s cock was soft, in one way just another part of Blaine, hanging loose against the sweet drop of his balls. It looked less like an object of pleasure --  _to_  pleasure, and more like something...normal.  
  
Blaine looked like a boy. A boy with a magnificent body, all cut muscles and perfectly dusked nipples and sloped shoulders, but in so many way, a boy just like Kurt.  
  
Kurt wiped the drops of water from his chin, abandoning the idea of moisturizing, and met Blaine’s eyes.  
  
“Hey.” In the mirror Kurt could see the way his own face changed when Blaine smiled back at him; the way he lit up, pinked in the cheeks and eyes -- god was that really the way Blaine made him feel? The way Blaine  _saw_  him?  
  
In his own reflection, Kurt tilted his head, inviting Blaine toward him. Blaine’s head hooked over Kurt’s shoulder, arms too warm around his waist. Kurt leaned back, tipping his head onto Blaine’s shoulder. Kurt was taller, but when he turned his head a bit and leaned on Blaine, resting his forehead into Blaine’s neck, he could still see their reflections.  
  
Blaine wasn’t looking into Kurt’s eyes now. His hands were hot splayed over Kurt’s stomach, fingers digging in a little. It looked like possession, felt like ownership. Like no one but Blaine could ever touch him like this, make him feel like this, or have him like this.  
  
Kurt knew in his heart that no one ever would. That there would never be any space left inside him that had not been burned clear through with love and wanting for  _this_  boy. He might have been seventeen, and everyone would tell him he was silly, but it didn’t matter because Kurt knew that Blaine was his lifetime.  
  
“Blaine.” Kurt felt the heat of his breath against Blaine’s neck; he marveled at his reflection -- this boy who somehow new to him, arching sinuously against and into the touch. Whose body was lithe and long and seeking, swaying into those sure, sure hands.  
  
Kurt had never, never in his whole life felt so empowered in his own body. With his own body. It was a rush, a heavy torrent of sex and need and a thrill of power -- he closed his eyes and let himself be  _in_  it, for just a moment. Let it gather and grow until it was swamping him and he couldn’t keep himself from moving back, dragging the skin of his ass against Blaine. Between the swell of his cheeks he could feel Blaine, half-hard and warm pressing back.  
  
Their eyes, now met in the mirror, burned. Blaine’s hand was moving, coming to rest on Kurt’s neck. His fingers weren’t gentle -- they spread from shoulder to chin, holding him in place while his mouth...  _god_  his mouth started doing things. Things that made Kurt want to slide to the floor, to melt into a puddle of zipping nerves and over sensitized skin.  
  
His mirror self was melting a bit, muscles becoming more lax, eyes fluttering shut. Until Blaine’s other arm wrapped tighter around, hauling him up. Blaine worked a knee between Kurt’s thighs.  
  
“No you don’t.” Blaine’s lips were impossibly red when he lifted them; his teeth unforgiving and seeking when he went back to Kurt’s neck enthusiastically. Kurt gripped the edge of the sink.  
  
What was happening in front of him was pure  _sex_ ; it was stripped and pornographic, images that made Kurt shake, made him burn. He hooked his arms back around Blaine’s neck, putting his own body on display a little more. Just over the edge of the sink, Kurt could see his own cock, come back to life; flushed and leaking. His nipples were hard, pebbled pink. With every breath, Kurt could see the muscles of his body flex and work, shifting like water into and under Blaine’s hands, against his body, washed in pleasure.  
  
Blaine’s lips were working over his back, nipping and licking his shoulder blade and the curve of his spine just up to Kurt’s hair line. Blaine’s hand was under Kurt’s chin, grip firm, fingers spanning from each hinged hollow of his jaw, and when Blaine bit, rougher than he’d ever touched Kurt before, Kurt knew he would not be able to stand very much longer.  
  
“Blaine, take me to bed.” Mirror Kurt was closing his eyes, whimpering and shuddering; his voice was threading broken and so blatantly turned on. Kurt forced his eyes back open; Blaine’s hands slipped over his body, coming to rest with one over his hard beating heart. The other was just inside the seam of his thigh, fingers pressing the crease between his leg and his drawn up balls, thumb at the edge of his pubic hair, just inches from his throbbing cock.  
  
Their eyes met; Blaine’s were brown shot with green and blown with some sort of contained frenzy and wanting. Kurt tilted his head until it rested against Blaine’s cheek.  
  
“Take me to bed, and I’ll make you own me.”  
  
~*~  
  
Blaine’s head met the curve of Kurt’s spine with a thunk, Kurt’s words coursing through his body like sweet fire.  
  
“Who  _are_  you?” He kept his tone light and playful, trying to ignore the heavy insistence of his cock. His stupid cock that had betrayed him, causing him to come all over Kurt’s face. His dumb, desperately greedy dick that was insisting it wanted more, that it  _needed_  more, now. This was about Kurt, who seemed to have morphed into some sort of confident sex god in the span of five minutes.  
  
“Isn’t this what you wanted?” Kurt turned in his arms; draped his own around Blaine’s shoulders, pulling him close to mold his body to Blaine’s.  
  
“I want you,” Blaine’s lips were open on Kurt’s, tongue seeking, retreating when Kurt’s worked its way into his mouth. It was sloppy, lips and heat and from Blaine, tinged with desperation. “ _God_  Kurt, I want you any way you’ll take me.”  
  
“So take me to bed.” Kurt insisted, hands cupping Blaine’s face, lips tracing from Blaine’s mouth to ear to chin and neck.  
  
“I can do that.” With a quick shift, Blaine hoisted Kurt onto the bathroom counter in a move even he wasn’t expecting. “Wrap your legs around me.”  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt smiled even as he moved to comply, “That’s very sexy, but I outweigh you by about 50 pounds.”  
  
“Shut up and swoon or something.” Blaine manhandled Kurt, cupping him under his thighs, and turned them. It wasn’t like he didn’t know Kurt was heavier than he -- but all of his boxing and training had left him strong and capable. The problem really lay in trying to maneuver their bodies through the door jam without running into it (not successful), and hoisting Kurt onto his high bed (somehow accomplished in a very unsexy way).  
  
“Ohh, I’m  _swooning_  Mr. Anderson.” Kurt teased between helpless giggles.  
  
“Oh shush.” Blaine crawled up on the bed, nudging Kurt back up against the pillows. “I believe I was told to bring you here for a purpose?” He hovered over Kurt, knees spreading Kurt’s thighs to he could come to rest between them.  
  
Quicksilver, Kurt’s eyes changed, laughter giving over to muted heat. God the look he gave Blaine -- Kurt coming into his sexuality, learning to stretch into his sensual side, was breathtaking. Literally. Blaine could feel his breath backing up, lungs constricting as his heart and cock throbbed to the beat of his craving.  
  
“Yes,” Kurt’s lip, his sweetly plump lip, caught between his teeth, made Blaine want to lean in to worship it, to lick and bite and whisper how very much he wanted to love Kurt. “I want to tell you what I want.” Kurt hesitated, uncertainty shading his cheeks.  
  
“Tell me.” Blaine put his lips on Kurt’s eyebrow, along his hairline, tender over the meat of his earlobe -- all the places he didn’t always think to touch. Places that were a part Kurt’s stunning face, his heart stopping and once in a lifetime beauty. “Please Kurt.” He begged.  
  
“Okay.” Kurt’s exhale shook with fading nerves. Blaine felt him breathing in, could sense Kurt’s confidence building and gathering inside.  
  
“Start with my neck. Biting and kissing, but no marks unless I tell you to.” Kurt stopped to level a hot stare; promise and confidence in his eyes and lips. “And I will.”  
  
~*~  
  
Blaine held his stare for five humming seconds; it felt like even the air stopped to crackle alive at that moment. Everything inside Kurt -- from his heart to the second secret skin he never exposed -- rippled with it. It felt stronger than lust, more solid than love. It felt like that _thing_. As though the intangible, unknowable thing between he and Blaine that had been present since that moment their eyes met on the Dalton stairs, had come to life.  
  
So when Blaine’s head ducked, lips whisper-tender worshiping Kurt’s neck, it took everything he had not to come on the spot. Kurt was relatively sure he’d never, absolutely never, made a noise so abandoned in his  _life_  as he did then.  
  
“Oh fuck.” Blaine whispered before his teeth dug in, just below Kurt’s ear. Kurt shivered from his toes and straight into his hair; every follicle felt as though it was standing on end.  
  
“Don’t stop.” Kurt tried to control his voice long enough to infuse it with confidence.  
  
Blaine didn’t, continuing to use his lips and tongue, teeth and breath everywhere Kurt loved. He wasn’t touching Kurt anywhere else, holding his body above Kurt’s with his arms. He scraped his teeth down to Kurt’s prominent clavicle, sealing his lips over the fine jut of bone. Kurt was trembling, panting -- an embarrassing wreck of arousal he couldn’t even bring himself to care about. He threaded his fingers through Blaine’s hair to hold him in place.  
  
“Now.” He pressed harder. Blaine groaned, brokenly, biting  _hard_  and sucking. “ _Blaine_!” Kurt’s body bowed up, spine curving and feet curled into tenses comas. “Yes, just like that.” He encouraged when Blaine moved on, leaving bruises along his collarbone.  
  
“You want them where they can’t be seen, right?” Blaine paused to check.  
  
“No, no, it’s not like that.” Kurt tugged Blaine back down, aching for what Blaine was making him feel -- marked,  _owned_. Loved. “I’m not trying to hide you. Think of tomorrow.” Kurt gasped out, “We’ll be in glee. Rachel will be-  _uh_ , bossing us around and everyone will be...  _oh yes right there_! Um, fighting and no one will know that you’re still all over my body.”  
  
Blaine looked up, bedroom eyes the color of sloe whiskey. Kurt cushioned Blaine’s face between shaking hands, meeting his gaze.  
  
“They’ll think whatever they want to about us, they think they  _know_.” Kurt breathed out hard when Blaine’s pink tongue flicked out to lick his lips. “But you’ll know better. What’s under my clothes. How I like to be touched. How to  _fuck_  me. How to love me.”  
  
“Yes.” Blaine closed his eyes, leaning in for the sweetest kiss. “Oh god I love you.” He whispered against Kurt’s kissing lips, “ _I love you, I love you, I love you_.”  
  
Kurt felt like his heart might crack, might buckle under the weight of so much emotion. “Blaine,” he didn’t even try to stop the tear from sliding down his cheek. “I love you too.”  
  
Their foreheads rested against each other while they breathed; Kurt trying to ease the trembling of his muscles, the wild galloping of his heart.  
  
“Blaine,” he whispered urgently now, “Blaine take my hands.” And so Blaine did, sitting up a bit to remove Kurt’s from where they were still framing his own face, threading his fingers through.  
  
“Now hold me down.” Kurt closed his eyes, then opened them, still looking Blaine in the eye. He thought it would be nerve wracking, asking Blaine for these things, asking him to do them. But Kurt didn’t feel it, not when they were so together, so lost together, like this. He wasn’t alone, and he was so, so safe.  
  
~*~  
  
“Yes.” Blaine rushed out in one heavy breath. He shifted, legs straddling Kurt’s body, lifting Kurt’s hands up just above his head and pressing them down. Blaine was trying so hard to keep his skin from Kurt’s; he wanted to come so badly it hurt everywhere.  
  
Below him, Kurt was holding himself still as well, even though Blaine could feel the fine tremors running through his helpless body. He leaned down to start working his lips over Kurt again, bypassing his beautifully marked neck -- the chain of love bites he’d left along Kurt’s normally pristine skin.  
  
Through the overwhelming pulse of his own arousal, Blaine worked to remember the things Kurt liked best. He dragged his nose under Kurt’s arm, breathing him in at the apex of his arm and ribs, then back down to the torturously sensitive underside of his bicep. Here he really started working his mouth, biting and sucking. His fingers squeezed Kurt’s, an implied question that Kurt quickly answered.  
  
“Yes.” Kurt moaned, “ _Please_ , just like that.”  
  
Blaine sucked harder, licking to sooth where his teeth had set tiny blooming pinpricks bruising him under the surface of his skin. Kurt’s fingers were gripping his so hard Blaine could feel their bones tight-rubbing together. Blaine shuddered, panting.  
  
“Don’t come, don’t come, don’t come.” Kurt chanted, eyes closed, head thrown to the side. Blaine took a deep breath, head tucked against Kurt’s chest, willing himself and Kurt both to calm down, to see this through. Against his cheek, Kurt’s skin was so hot, dewed with sweat. Once Blaine felt like he could breathe, he started his assault again, kissing slow and deliberate down Kurt’s torso, as far as their tethered fingers might allow.  
  
Blaine kissed his way back up until his lips were just a breath from Kurt’s mouth. Then he took it, pressing Kurt down hard into the bed, and claiming Kurt’s lips. Blaine fucked his tongue in between those sweet peach ripe lips, absorbing every whimpered moan. He pressed harder when Kurt strained against his hands, obviously aching to touch, to grab. To seal their over sensitized bodies together, rubbing and rubbing up against each other until they both got lost in the whitewash oblivion of their orgasms.  
  
But Blaine knew that Kurt wanted more, and so he didn’t let him. Kurt was strong, but so was Blaine.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt moved his head to the side a little so he could speak, “You have no idea, no idea how much that turns me on.” His fingers tightened in Blaine’s grip.  
  
“If it’s anything like how it turns me on, we might be in trouble.” Blaine gasped out a little laugh before returning to Kurt’s mouth.  
  
“Kurt.” Suddenly Blaine pulled away from where they had been kissing; lost in reckless, frenzied kisses. “We might need to cool down.”  
  
“No, no.” Kurt sought his mouth again, head lifting to capture Blaine’s lips. “I’ll be fine, we’ll be fine. Just, let’s breathe.”  
  
Blaine tugged away, wisely choosing not to point out that just breathing was cooling off. He rolled gracelessly off of Kurt’s body, thighs burning lightly from the exertion of holding himself above him. They remained linked, one pair of hands still entangled, while they breathed.  
  
“Anytime you’re ready,” Kurt turned his head to the side a moment later, eyes bright and playful, “I’m ready for you to blow me.”  
  
“Okay.” Blaine rolled over a bit to return Kurt’s smile before sitting up. He took a moment to survey the scene before him, taking in the long stretch of Kurt’s body -- the faint hint of ribs peeking through with the rapid rise and fall of his chest, the way his skin glimmered with sweat and down to the asterisk of his belly button. Blaine shuffled closer, leaning in to kiss it, softly and with reverence.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt’s belly vibrated under his mouth, “I’m pretty sure that’s not my dick.”  
  
“Patience, Iago... _paaaaaatience_.” Blaine laughed himself, ducking to avoid being swatted.  
  
“Did you just quote Aladdin to me? When we’re naked and you’re four inches from sucking my cock?” Kurt asked, incredulous. Blaine scrunched his eyes closed and groaned in embarrassment.  
  
“I’m sorry, I can’t really think straight, it just came out!” He skimmed a hand down Kurt’s side in apology, thumbing the knob of Kurt’s hip that jutted out temptingly. “Let’s forget that happened. I’ll make you forget.”  
  
Blaine didn’t give Kurt a chance to respond; instead he bent down and took Kurt’s erection into his mouth, as far as he could, all at once.  
  
“Oh, fuck.” Kurt twisted a little, his moaned  _yesyesyes_  filling the air.  
  
Blaine let Kurt’s whimpers and broken words wash over him, trying to focus on the task at hand. He dragged his lips up slowly, sucking and trying to lick over the underside of Kurt’s cock, spreading moisture as he went. Luckily, his mouth started watering and soon Kurt’s dick was slick, sliding easily between his lips.  
  
The longer he worked Kurt over, the more turned on he got. Blaine switched things up as best he could -- he really was sitting at an awkward angle, and he was still pretty new to blow jobs which meant that his jaw hurt after a bit. And that he couldn’t take Kurt as deep as he really wanted. So he alternated using his mouth with his hand, making sure to suckle at the tip and lick around the head while his hand struggled to keep a steady rhythm.  
  
“Blaine,” Kurt’s voice deepened and caught his attention. “ _Blaine_. Do that again.”  
  
Blaine frowned, trying to replicate what he’d just done -- sucking on the upstroke, swirling his tongue around the deep ridge of Kurt’s cock, then sucking his way back down. He kept his fingers where they’d settled for the moment, cupping Kurt’s balls. Kurt gasped his name again, fingers holding the crown of Blaine’s head carefully.  
  
He did it again one more time, trying to breathe and stay calm because holy shit he was so fucking turned on. Blaine knew it would take almost nothing to get him off, and he wasn’t wrong. He almost came when Kurt almost came -- dick throbbing hard in Blaine’s mouth, balls suddenly drawing up, tight in his hand. Kurt pushed his head away just then; Blaine sat up with a gasp, desperately trying to cool down.  
  
“Not yet,” Kurt was murmuring to himself. Blaine nodded, even though Kurt’s eyes were closed. “ _Not yet, not yet, not yet_.” Kurt opened his eyes, took one look at Blaine and sat up.  
  
“Let me-” Kurt sat up, closing his fingers around Blaine’s dick at the base, circling it with his fingers and adding pressure. Blaine let his head fall into the crook of Kurt’s shoulder.  
  
“What are you-?” He managed to get out. Kurt squeezed harder, “Kurt!” Blaine startled.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Kurt pulled back, hand retreating. “I read that doing that would help, you know...help you not come?” It came out as a question at the end. Blaine looked down at his own dick, which was still so hard, shimmering with precome and a deep purple red.  
  
“Oh,” Blaine responded stupidly.  _Yeah_. “I’ve read that too.” Blaine wondered for a moment when Kurt had started researching things like that on the internet, but chose to skip over it. “You know,” He shrugged a shoulder sheepishly, “Cock rings.”  
  
Kurt managed to flush a deeper red -- maybe deeper than Blaine had ever seen, so he rushed to continue. “Well you were right. All better.” Blaine pushed gently at Kurt’s shoulder, easing him back against the pillows. This time he settled himself a little more comfortably, stretching out along Kurt’s body, hips snugged against Kurt’s strong legs. He started slower this time, running his tongue up Kurt’s length, fingers tentatively testing the weight of Kurt’s balls again.  
  
Soon enough he was back to his rhythm, only using his mouth this time so his other hand was free to cup Kurt’s balls. He couldn’t help it -- there was something about the way Kurt’s body reacted to him, the way he could feel it in the shift and tight movement of his balls that Blaine loved. Kurt moved against his body and mouth a little.  
  
“Could you...” Kurt’s voice was soft, very tentative. “Maybe, um, touch me...there?”  
  
Blaine pulled off rapidly, “ _Kurt_ ,” He closed his eyes and lay his forehead on Kurt’s hip. “Yes.” He had heard the hesitation in Kurt’s voice and struggled to assure him. When he looked up, Kurt was biting his lip.  
  
“Kurt, it’s okay. I really want to.”  
  
“Yeah?” Kurt turned to look down at him, and Blaine feathered light kisses over his stomach.  
  
“Just to be sure...” Blaine licked his lips, trying to push past the slight tinge of awkwardness. “You just want me to touch right, not, um-?”  
  
“No!” Kurt took a breath, “I mean yes, just touch. I’m not ready for...more than that.”  
  
Blaine smiled, grateful. The idea was so hot; fingering Kurt, maybe one day fucking him. But he definitely wasn’t ready for any sort of penetration either.  
  
“Definitely.” He said fervently. “Can I-” He let the question hang, gesturing toward Kurt’s still hard dick.  
  
“Yes.” Kurt breathed. "Just don't - don't swallow, okay?"  
  
"Um," Blaine wasn't sure why Kurt didn't want him to swallow, but this was Kurt's night; Kurt wanted to show Blaine what he wanted, and Blaine was doing his best to give everything to him. "Okay."  
  
Blaine tried to build back up to where they’d been. Even without speaking, Blaine could tell how nervous Kurt was; hell  _he_  was nervous.  
  
So he went back to sucking Kurt’s dick like it was his mission, working to elicit the same gasps and groans from Kurt. It wasn’t until Blaine could tell that Kurt was close, whispering his name over and over, that he moved. He sucked his finger into his mouth quickly, wanting to smooth his touch, then slid his finger from behind Kurt’s balls, adding pressure along his perineum, and then circled his hole once, then a second time harder with the tip.  
  
“ _Oh my gooood_." Kurt moaned, and then Blaine moaned, pulling reluctantly away Kurt’s twitching cock, shifting awkwardly to use his other hand to grip his dick. Kurt’s asshole, wrinkled and puckered tight closed, absolutely throbbed with his orgasm, his cries louder than Blaine had ever heard.  
  
Once he'd worked Kurt through it, relishing every twitch and pulse, did Blaine pull away. He moved his hand gingerly. It was only a little covered in come, the rest having spurted over Kurt's belly. He smiled up at Kurt. This time he used his fingers to grip the base of his own dick, trying to hold off. Kurt's arm was covering his eyes, body still shuddering from the force of his orgasm.  
  
"Blaine." Kurt's voice was graveled and broken, but his arms were nothing but strong when he gathered Blaine to him. "Give me just a second." He promised, lips firm against Blaine's scalp.  
  
“A second,” Blaine gasped, “A year...take your time.”  _Oh please don’t. I might die_. Blaine turned his too hot face into Kurt’s shoulder, eyes closed, absorbing the shudders and smallest twitches roiling through Kurt’s still recovering body. Thankfully, only seconds had passed when Kurt rolled onto his side, nudging Blaine onto his side as well.  
  
“I hope...” Kurt was somehow managing to look bashful again, biting his lip, eyes uncertain. “I want to try something.”  
  
“Kurt, anything,” Blaine knew he was babbling, on the verge of begging. But his dick, his stupid, achingly hard dick, was teetering on the edge. Blaine’s whole body felt like one frenzied, over extended pulse of need, pouring heat and desire from every one of his pores. “ _Anything_.”  
  
Kurt’s face took on a sort of sly, watchful quality, then his hand,  _holy shit, his hand_  slid across his torso, collecting his own come swiftly.  
  
“What are you-” Blaine shut up, stunned by what he saw, Kurt’s fingers cupping to keep the viscous liquid from sliding through. And then his eyes were slamming shut; juxtaposed with Kurt’s quiet breathing his own groan sounded too loud, too frantic. Blaine had never cared less about making a desperate, needy fool of himself.  
  
Because Kurt had chosen that moment to slither closer, fingers light but sure against Blaine’s shaft. It was different, different than the lube they normally used, or when recklessly getting off too quick and clandestine, spit.  
  
Kurt’s hand was working fast, spreading come over Blaine’s dick and then circling over the head of his cock. Blaine didn’t have time to worry about it becoming tacky or too sticky; the mere idea of what Kurt was doing, combined with how badly he needed to come, brought him to the edge within a few strokes. Blaine bit his own lip, fingers pressing bruises into Kurt’s shoulder when his body stiffened and thrummed, hips fucking his dick one last time into the hot circle of Kurt’s fingers before coming so hard his jaw clenched too tight and his feet cramped from the force of curling with pleasure.  
  
“ _Kurt_ ,” Blaine chanted Kurt’s name, pulling air into his taxed body, sagging against his boyfriends strong frame, “ _KurtKurtKurt_.”  
  
“I’m here,” Kurt’s lips ghosted over Blaine’s face, eyes wide open blown out blue-black. “I’m here, I’ve got you.”  
  
Blaine closed his eyes again, tipping his forehead until it rested against Kurt’s shoulder, shifting a little to accommodate when Kurt rolled back. When he inhaled, it was Kurt and sweat and sex. The silence hummed with contentment, with a slow sliding exhaustion that only comes in the wake of luxurious satisfaction and completion.  
  
“We should clean up.” Kurt’s silvery voice broke the blanket of sleepiness enveloping Blaine. When he twitched back into wakefulness, he felt it; the gluey tack of come drying rapidly on their skin.  
  
“Ugh, yeah.” Blaine pulled away first, wincing when the skin of his stomach stuck with Kurt’s.  
  
“Ew.” Kurt sat up, long muscles working under his skin. Blaine wondered for a moment if he’d ever have his fill of Kurt like this, naked and loose and hurting-beautiful.  
  
“Stay here,” Kurt skimmed the pads of his fingers up Blaine’s arm, “I’ll go get a washcloth.”  
  
Blaine let his eyes track the path of Kurt’s touch. “Hey-” He looked up to meet Kurt’s sleepy eyes again. “Do you maybe want to shower?” He let his hand curl around Kurt’s thigh, felt the prickle of light hair. “Not in...I don’t mean any funny business or anything.” He promised.  
  
“Blaine.” Kurt’s lip twitched, lopsided. “Do you really think either of us could be up for ’  _any funny business_ ’ after all that?” Kurt’s voice was sarcasm and honey. Maybe Blaine was gone with what he felt for Kurt, but he loved the little hints of bitch and sweetness that only Kurt could manage at once. It was so  _Kurt_ : adorably himself even at his most relaxed.  
  
“No.” Blaine laughed, pulling Kurt’s hand into his own and helping him off of the bed. “Although if you want- I don’t want to presume. You can shower alone?”  
  
“No,” Kurt turned to him, “With you.” His smiled with affection.  
  
~*~  
  
Kurt stepped into the small shower behind Blaine carefully. He didn’t want to slip and fall just because he was ogling his boyfriend’s incredible ass. Not that he  _wasn’t_  ogling; he definitely was. He just didn’t want to injure himself in the process.  
  
“Oh.” Kurt shivered when he stepped into the spray; Blaine must like the water cooler than he did.  
  
“Here.” Blaine reached around him to adjust the temperature a little, then wrapped his arms around Kurt, tucking his head into Kurt’s neck. For a few moments they stood swaying together under the warming spray with Kurt’s back taking most of the water, keeping it out of Blaine’s face.  
  
Blaine pulled back first, looking up at him with wet clumped lashes, leaning in for a slow kiss. Kurt was sure that he’d never loved anything or anyone more than this boy, in this moment. He wondered how many times he would feel that with Blaine; how many new plateaus of pleasure and love and affection they would reach together in a lifetime shared.  
  
He kissed back. There was no hurry, no intention or desperation, only the desire to share lips and breath and each other’s presence.  
  
“Can I wash your hair?” Kurt asked lightly.  
  
“Sure.” Blaine closed his eyes then opened them. “So long as you let me fix it again when we get out.”  
  
Kurt pouted a bit. He’d seen Blaine’s hair start to curl with sweat and exertion -- during booty camp, that disastrous night at Rachel’s. In bed with him, damp and undone and writhing with him. But he’d never seen it fully product free.  
  
“Please Kurt.” Blaine squeezed Kurt’s hips gently. Kurt understood, he did. Blaine’s confidence, his charisma; they were all very fragile constructs that covered a maelstrom of insecurity and fear. The way Blaine presented himself to the world was something he clung to fiercely, even with Kurt.  
  
There were so many ways that Blaine let himself go with Kurt, so many walls he brought down just for him. But everything was relatively new to them -- love and these new levels of intimacy. Kurt could be patient. They had time. More than anything he wanted Blaine to trust him. Pushing for things, no matter how small they seemed, was not something he was going to do.  
  
“Alright.” Kurt ran his hand carefully over Blaine’s damp hair. “Let’s get it washed first.”  
  
~*~  
  
They traded kisses, both fleeting and molasses slow, while washing one another. It was a new kind of unfolding, touching without the intent to get more, to get off.  
  
They didn’t linger though -- once clean Kurt had to admit that he was exhausted, boneless from the combination of a spectacular orgasm and the warm water.  
  
“You ready?” He asked Blaine, who nodded, sleepy satisfaction all over his face and in the lines of his relaxed shoulders.  
  
They dried off in silence, bumping elbows and shuffling around one another in Kurt’s small bathroom. Kurt snuck out to grab clean clothes. No one would be back for hours; he could probably get away with lending Blaine some of his -- no one would see him before he left. The thought of putting on their wrinkled, discarded clothing was  _not_  appealing.  
  
“Here.” Kurt peeked into the bathroom, handing Blaine the bundle of clothes and the spare hair gel Blaine carried in his satchel at all times.  
  
“Thank you.” Blaine’s fingers curled around Kurt’s wrist, fleeting and soft.  
  
~*~  
  
Blaine stepped out of the bathroom cautiously. He had tried relaxing his appearance a little -- in a small concession he’d used the minimal amount of gel needed to tone his hair from wild frizz to tousled curls. Kurt’s pants were a bit long on him; the sleeves of his henley as well. Blaine loved the feeling though; he pulled the ends of the sleeves over his hands, curling his fingers into the fabric. They smelled like Kurt’s laundry detergent. He felt safe.  
  
Carefully he crawled up onto the bed, curling his body into Kurt’s.  
  
“Mmmm.” Blaine tightened his hold on Kurt’s waist. Kurt ran his fingers over Blaine’s back, along his spine and down his arm.  
  
“So.” Blaine started carefully. “That thing...”  
  
“That thing?” Kurt repeated with a bit of humor.  
  
“With the um, come?” Blaine ventured.  
  
“Oh. Yeah.” Kurt’s body fidgeted under his. Blaine nuzzled his cheek against Kurt’s chest, enjoying the rise and fall of his breathing.  
  
“I wasn’t expecting that.” Blaine admitted. “I mean, you know. Based on your reaction to what happened earlier -- and by the way I am still _so sorry_ -”  
  
Kurt silenced him with a quiet  _shush_  and a finger over Blaine’s lips. “It’s really okay Blaine. We’re new to sex.” Kurt cleared his throat. “It’s not always going to be perfect.”  
  
“No,” Blaine lifted his head to look at Kurt. “It is. Because it’s with you. Because it’s us.”  
  
Kurt tilted his head, examining Blaine’s face. “You’re right.” His arm tightened around Blaine’s back where it was curled. “I guess what I meant was that we are still learning. Things are going to happen. Besides,” Kurt looked away, blushing.  
  
“Besides?” Blaine prompted.  
  
“It’s...maybe it’s a thing? For me?”  
  
At this Blaine moved up onto his elbow, propping his head on his hand. Kurt pulled his arm back.  
  
“A thing?” He prompted.  
  
“Well, I have to admit I’ve, um...fantasized about, you know.” Kurt looked away, worrying his lips, the fingers of his free hand fiddling with the hem of his shirt, “Doing that to you.”  
  
“Oh.” Blaine tried to think of something intelligent to say. Nothing came to mind as it was utterly bamboozled by the admission and the flood of images it elicited.  _Yeah_. That could definitely be a thing for him too.  
  
“I’m sorry, I realize it’s unfair for me to want something I don’t really want you to do to me.”  
  
“Why?” Blaine lay his hand on Kurt’s stomach, where it hollowed in from lying flat on the bed. “Isn’t that like telling someone they have to like,” Blaine squinted, trying to find a way to say what he wanted to say without being crude, “Um, you know. Giving  _and_  receiving?”  
  
“Giving what, like blow jobs? Because I think it’s clear we’re both very much interested in both ends of that one.”  
  
Blaine cleared his throat this time. “No I meant like...topping and bottoming.”  
  
“Oh!” Kurt exclaimed. “Oh.” His voice took a turn toward thoughtful.  
  
“Not that we need to talk about that now or anything. I- I’m not really even ready for that sort of thing-”  
  
Kurt let out a shaky exhale, “Oh good. I’m not either.”  
  
Blaine smiled, tracing his index finger along Kurt’s cheekbone. “Anyway, back to the original topic. Your thing...it could be a thing for me too. I think it is. I think that’s really hot, actually.”  
  
Kurt quirked an eyebrow, pupils adjusting as his eyes widened.  
  
“So, is it just the facial thing,” Blaine tried to use the word casually, “Or a come thing?”  
  
“Both? I don’t know. Even in the beginning, I kind of liked the way it looked. On your skin, on mine, watching it happen. I wasn’t really planning on doing...what I did, today. It just came to me?”  
  
Blaine snorted out a laugh and Kurt pushed at his shoulder playfully.  
  
“Kurt,” Blaine took his hand, slotting his fingers one by one, between Kurt’s. “I love you so much.”  
  
Kurt’s face lit up in the kind of smile that twisted deep in Blaine’s heart and gut. It was a smile he’d only ever seen directed at him. It was bright and unselfconscious and joyful.  
  
“Ditto.” Kurt responded playfully, pulling Blaine back in to snuggle against his body.  
  
~*~  
  
He woke up a short time later to find that they’d shifted into a tangled spoon position, legs overlapping, Kurt’s arm crossed between his over Blaine’s chest. Nothing moved save for the air they breathed; Blaine wasn’t even really sure why he’d woken up.  
  
“Hey.” Kurt’s voice was rough; he must have just woken up as well.  
  
“Hi.” Blaine yawned, stretching back into his somnolent body. “Have you been awake long?” He turned over, clumsy knees and arms, finally settling with his head sharing space with Kurt’s on the pillow.  
  
“No.” Kurt’s fingers starfished against the small of his back. “I woke up just before you.”  
  
“Hmmm.” Blaine hummed his happiness; everything in his world was Kurt right now. What he could see and touch, Kurt’s voice in his ears and smell all around. They fell into silence.  
  
“I never thought I’d have  _this_.” Kurt spoke again, suddenly. Blaine opened his eyes. In the lapsed time since they’d spoken, he’d started to drift again.  
  
“A boyfriend?”  
  
Kurt’s eyes smiled even when his mouth didn’t. “No.” Blaine waited. “You know,” Kurt started again, “The touch of a fingertip really doesn’t cover it.”  
  
“Well, no, of course not.” Blaine grinned impishly, “There are lips and tongues and-” He stopped talking when Kurt covered his lips, chastising lightly.  
  
“ _Blaine_.”  
  
Blaine rolled his eyes, kissing the tips of Kurt’s fingers as they slid away. “I’m sorry, you were saying?” He prompted.  
  
“I just meant...it’s hard to put into words. I hoped I’d have a boyfriend -- I thought I would. Maybe even one day a husband and kids. A lover or two. But this...”  
  
Blaine brushed first one tear gathering along the corner of Kurt’s eye, then the other.  
  
“This is- you’re...so much more. More than I even knew was possible, more than I could have ever wished or hoped for myself.”  
  
“Oh  _Kurt_.” Blaine could feel his own smile wobbling, the cool touch of Kurt’s finger just under his eyes grounding him. “I didn’t either.”  
  
“I’m so glad it’s you Blaine.”  
  
~*~  
  
Later Blaine walked slowly through his room, refusing to pull Kurt’s borrowed clothes off. He crawled into bed feeling cold, worrying over the vacant Kurt-space between his sheets.  
  
Which was ludicrous really. They didn’t live together. They didn’t even spend that much time in bed, and of that, only a handful of times actually getting to sleep. But he wanted to. Maybe that was it, he thought. Maybe it was that Blaine  _wanted_  to miss Kurt in his bed like they’d done it a million times. Like getting to sleep together was something they'd take for granted until it was gone.  
  
Blaine had known for months that soon, Kurt would be leaving. Neither of them had ever had any intention of staying in Ohio; his own impending graduation, over a year away, felt like the end of a long prison sentence. It wasn’t a surprise that Kurt was leaving.  
  
But for the first time, hand splayed on the cold sheets to the left of him, Blaine  _knew_  -- felt it in his bones -- that Kurt was leaving.  
  
If their lives were a movie; some rom-com or one of the great classics that Kurt loved so much, this wonderful night would end with a tasteful fade to black before anything had an opportunity to fall apart. Before their beautiful romance had a chance to unravel. And maybe it wouldn’t. He knew there was a chance that he and Kurt were forever; the best chance if he had any say in the matter. It was so much easier, when he was with Kurt, to trust in the promise of forever.  
  
Blaine stirred when his phone lit up next to him, buzzing twice to signal a text.  
  
 _I’ll be dreaming of you, my prince._  
  
Blaine thumbed over the line of words, letting Kurt’s sweetness wash over him. They would be fine. He was scared, yes. But it would be fine because Kurt was right. Kurt was more than Blaine had even known to wish for, and he wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of that, much less his own fears. He texted back with a smile, snuggling further into his now warming bed.  
  
 _I love you forever._

**Author's Note:**

> First story in what is slowly becoming a verse. Thanks to Nachochang, winterlit, and anxioussquirrel for beta, support, and leading me to the prompt in the first place.


End file.
